An Unyielding Desire (After The End Book 2) Page 19

  Yu moved off toward the barn with a wave, probably assigned to laundry duty, and Mina wandered a bit, feeling out of place and unsure what to do with herself. Someone had obviously taken over egg duty while she’d been incapacitated, but should she revert to the task now? It was too late in the morning today, she imagined, but maybe she should try tomorrow. Coop would know who had been performing the task, so she decided to find him. He might have some idea of how she could make herself useful in the meantime.

  Her face heated with a blush as her mind put a sexual twist on that thought. Images of her and Coop entangled on her bed, making love, left her flushed and overheated. She leaned against the corner of the house to take a deep breath, trying to collect herself. Before she started moving again, two voices had her freezing in place.

  “You can threaten me all you want, Tidwell, but I stand by what I said.” Tony practically growled the words.

  “I’m just telling you not to say that crap around her again. If you want to interpret that as a threat…”

  Mina shook her head, hating what Coop was doing, that he felt the need to do it. Tony was his friend, but he was risking his friendship to defend her. Would it do any good for her to step out now and ask him not to? Or would it make things more awkward if he knew she had overheard his attempts to protect her?

  “I’m not going to tiptoe around the truth. There is a lot more to it than she’s told us, and you know it. He loved her, and we think she loved him too, at least as much as someone like her can.”

  “She didn’t love that sadistic bastard, Decker. He hurt her and manipulated her.”

  Tony issued a scoffing sound that made Mina close her eyes. “It seems to us that she manipulated everything.”

  “Us?” asked Coop in a quiet tone laced with ice.

  “Lia and me. Probably others too, if they were brave enough to speak up.”

  “You’re out of your mind. He killed her mother.”

  “Janie was Lia’s mother too. She lost her mother because of whatever slutty games your girlfriend played with Shane.”

  Mina flinched at the accusation, and a pang in her chest made her gasp. Lia, knowing the truth, was supporting Tony’s conclusions. She was throwing Mina in front of the bus to protect herself. Did she really believe what her husband suggested, that Mina had been in a consensual relationship with Shane, and she had gotten off on playing games with his heart? Did Lia know she had actually cared for Shane in some capacity?

  “Do you really want to discuss slutty games?” demanded Coop. “You’re looking in the wrong direction.”

  Mina trembled at the note of warning in his voice. She shook her head, denying he was about to tell Tony the truth. She could be around the corner in a second, stopping him, but she hesitated. Blind anger at Lia filled her, and she didn’t move.

  “What’re you talking about?”

  “Your wife, and her slutty games, are what put everything in motion.”

  Hearing it verbalized snapped Mina from her paralysis, and she rushed forward, hand held aloft. “Coop, don’t.”

  He looked at her, his mouth tightening as he returned his gaze to Tony. “He should know.”

  She shook her head. “It will just make things worse.”

  Tony sneered. “Whatever lie she told you, man, she doesn’t want you to repeat it. It’ll be all too easy to disprove.”

  Rage swept through her again. “I didn’t lie to him.” She dropped her head, anger dissipating as quickly as it had come. She just hadn’t told him the full truth and wasn’t sure she ever could.

  Coop shook his head, looking disgusted. “You must be a master of denial, Decker. Have you ever looked at your son? I mean really looked at him? I spent a few minutes with him this morning at breakfast, and it was so obvious, in light of what Mina had told me.”

  Tony scowled. “I don’t know what you’re implying, but you stay away from my family.”

  “Your family?” Coop shook his head, but trailed off when he met Mina’s gaze. Apparently, he finally realized she didn’t want him to reveal Ty’s parentage. His shoulder slumped with defeat. “Yeah, okay. You leave Mina alone, and I’ll stay out of your family.”

  He took a step toward her, and she went to meet him, accepting the arm he put around her waist and leaning against him. It felt natural, and they started to walk away. She hoped Tony would keep his mouth shut and let them go, before things got really ugly. While she saw no benefit for her sweet nephew if Tony found out the truth, she also wasn’t going to put up with his continued accusations of her having lied about Shane and ruining his life.

  They were almost away when the other man insisted on adding, “You can’t expect us all to accept a liar in our midst.”

  “Then get out,” snapped Mina, without turning. “Leave the farm, go find Shane, and have a happy bromance.” Lowering her voice, she added, “Or threesome.”

  “I’m not leaving. My wife has as much right to be here as you do. Even more, since she didn’t get your mother killed.”

  Mina spun on her foot, disengaging from Coop so quickly that her head reeled. “You’re right. It’s my fault she’s dead.” She heard the gasps of those nearby, the ones pretending not to be listening while soaking up every word.

  Tony looked more taken aback than satisfied. “Uh…I’m surprised you’re admitting it.”

  “I couldn’t love him the way he wanted. I didn’t give him everything he demanded, and he killed my mother in retaliation.” She stared at him steadily. “If I had given him every bit of me, she would still be here. I’ll have to live with that guilt.”

  “You have nothing to feel guilty for,” said Coop.

  Tony rolled his eyes. “She just admitted to you that she fucked up everything, and you’re still defending her?”

  “Why are you so eager to accuse her? Are you afraid you might have to face the truth otherwise?”

  “There is no other truth. Mina is a lying, cheating slut.”

  “Tony.” Lia shouted his name as she came running toward them. “Stop, please.” She was breathless as she reached them, taking a second to inhale deeply.

  “She has to pay for what she did.” Tony jabbed his finger in Mina’s direction. “She destroyed two lives, and we’re all just supposed to pretend like she was the victim? I’m not doing that.”

  Lia put a hand on his shoulder, her own eyes wide with fear. “Please let it go. Confronting her doesn’t serve any purpose. It won’t change things. It won’t bring back Mom. Or Shane.”

  Mina gasped at the implication. “Are you wishing he was back after everything he did, Tony? Really?”

  “He was a lot more useful than you, especially in your shutdown victim mode.” His gaze narrowed. “Bet it was guilt prompting that reaction. You didn’t expect your games to escalate to the point where people got hurt.”

  She flinched, torn between the wise course of walking away and the more visceral need to prove her innocence at any cost. Only knowing the potential of costing Ty any father figure held back the compulsion. With a sigh of defeat, she started to turn away.

  “Get back here,” shouted Tony. “You don’t get to cause all this carnage and just walk away. Someone is going to hold you accountable for your actions.”

  Coop was suddenly between her and Tony. “Back the fuck off now, before you get more than you bargained for.”

  Tony appeared unmoved. “I already told you your threats won’t sway me. You can’t hurt me.”

  “But the truth might,” said Mina softly. She put her hand on Coop’s chest, trying to push him back gently. “Let’s just go. Please.”

  “The truth is you deserve to be the one in the ground or out in that wasteland, not your mom and Shane.”

  “Lia started all of this.” Mina turned slowly to face her brother-in-law. “Her affair with Shane led him to me. He wanted revenge, and I was a way to get it.”

  Tony’s mouth fell open, and he looked shocked for a second, before rage contorted his features. “Don�
�t you dare make accusations like that.”

  “Why not? You’re throwing allegations around easily enough.” Mina clung to the hand Coop offered, searching for the strength to see this through. “When Lia rejected Shane, telling him she had never wanted anything permanent from him, he decided to take me instead. I had no choice if I wanted to protect my family—and your wife and Ty.”

  Tony looked at Lia, whose cheeks had flushed red. Her mouth was in a harsh line, and she glared at Mina, her eyes promising retribution. “She’s lying.”

  Coop snorted, earning a glare of equal intensity from Lia.

  “This is starting to feel like a talk show. Let’s just forget the whole thing.” Mina offered one last out for her sister, hating that it had reached this point. Looking at Lia left her angry and aching, mourning the sister she had once loved. Seeing the pain in her eyes, even though it was prompted by knowing Tony was about to learn the truth, stirred her compassion.

  Shoulders straight, she turned away from the couple glaring at her. “Let it go,” she said, both to herself and to them. Coop hung back for a second, as though debating about whether to tell the truth despite her signal. Mina hoped he would respect her cue, because she’d had enough of someone making her decisions for her and disregarding what she wanted. “C’mon, Coop. It’s not worth it.”

  A hand on her shoulder a second later made her tense. She knew it wasn’t Coop even as she turned to look up at Tony, who had grabbed her. Mina shrugged him off, unable to keep the hysterical edge from her voice when she screamed at him. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you ever touch me without my permission.”

  He looked unsettled as he took a step back before his expression hardened. “This isn’t over. I want this settled. I won’t have you telling lies about Lia. Your deception has done enough damage.”

  Mina reached out to stop Coop as he jerked Tony’s arm away from her, trying to step between them before it escalated to violence. Placing a palm on his chest, she looked up at him. “Let it go.” Holding his gaze, she saw the anger gradually fade from Coop’s face, and she gladly leaned against him when he put his arm around her waist instead of smashing his fist against Tony’s face.

  She ignored Tony’s taunts and demands for resolution, leading Coop with her to the chicken house. It was strange how the place was comforting with him beside her, and memories of that horrible day last summer didn’t intrude. The old routine felt familiar as she started shoveling dirty straw.

  “Why didn’t you tell him? Or let me?”

  Mina hated the pained confusion he displayed. “Oh, Coop, don’t you see that it wouldn’t solve anything? Tony won’t believe me if he doesn’t want to, and if he finds out Ty isn’t his son, who knows what he’ll do?”

  Coop frowned. “You don’t think he’d hurt the boy, do you?”

  She shook her head. “No, of course not. I don’t even think he’d hurt Lia. However, I think he might take off, and what’s the point of their family being ripped apart?”

  He scowled. “I think you’re underestimating the importance of the truth. He should know what happened.”

  Mina shrugged. “Perhaps, but I feel no burning loyalty to Tony that makes me want to do the right thing for him—if it’s even the right thing. Potentially, three lives are destroyed by the outcome of the truth. I think there’s been enough harm already.”

  With a long sigh, he brought the wheelbarrow over and grabbed a second shovel. “You know, Valeria just changed this a couple days ago.”

  Mina lifted a shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. The ritual is familiar. My muscles are practically mush from lazing around for four weeks. It feels good to move them.”

  He grinned. “Shoveling chicken shit is unique exercise.” A hint of heat came into his gaze. “I can think of other activities that would be more fun.”

  In an attempt to distract him from the desire he was obviously feeling, Mina asked, “Why did you almost tell Tony about Ty?”

  “I got angry. It clouded my good judgment.” He leaned on his shovel, looking at her with deep intensity. “When he started accusing you of having feelings for Shane, and of leading on that rapist piece of shit, I just kind of lost it. I’m sorry.”

  She swallowed, managing a nod. “S’okay,” she mumbled, feeling small and pathetic again. His words were a sharp reminder of where their relationship was heading—right over a cliff, to crash and burn. He would never be able to understand her having any feelings for the other man, and she didn’t know how to make him understand. Mina could barely understand it herself.

  “I appreciate how you feel, and I’ll try not to let testosterone overrule common sense again.”

  Mina managed a slight grin, marveling at her own acting abilities. “I don’t think you can blame it on testosterone. It’s not like guys have a corner on the market when it comes to acting irrationally.”

  “True, but I don’t know many girls who get in fistfights.”

  Mina’s cheeks burned fiercely despite her self-deprecating chuckle. “Uh, remember Thanksgiving. Lia and I…?”

  Coop blinked and then grinned slowly. “Yeah, I’d forgotten about that. What made you guys slug it out?”

  Any hint of amusement fled, and she clutched the handle of the shovel, almost enjoying the rough wood digging into her hands. It kept her focused in the present. “She saw Shane come out of my room and refused to help me.” Mina sighed. “There wasn’t much she could do anyway, besides tell the truth, and that is never going to happen.” Tears scalded her eyes, and she blinked them back. “I miss my sister. Lia and I were never super close, but we used to be sisters. Now, we’re basically nothing to each other.”

  Coop came over, enfolding her in a tight hug. “Shh, it’s okay. Just let it all out.” He rubbed her back in soothing circles. “If I ever see Shane again, I’m going to kill him for everything he did to you.”

  She nodded against his chest. The hug was nice, and it made her skin tingle where they touched, but she couldn’t seem to unlock any tears. Mina knew her control was tenuous, but she ended up clinging to it. A crying jag would leave her raw and vulnerable. All sorts of things might slip from her mouth in such an open state. She didn’t want to accidentally reveal something that would make Coop hate her. Not yet anyway.

  She knew she would have to tell him everything if they were going to have a relationship. The thought made perspiration bead on her forehead, and her stomach tied itself in knots. If she didn’t tell him the truth, she would have to forgo any kind of bond with him. Even friendship could develop into something deeper that would require a baring of her soul. That was a task for which she had no strength.

  Feeling disgusted by proof of her weakness, she clung tighter to him, drawing on Coop’s strength, because she had none of her own. She hated herself. More than anyone or anything that had happened, Mina loathed herself. She was nothing and didn’t deserve any happiness. Coop needed someone better and stronger than her. She had to let him go, but she was so pathetic that she couldn’t even manage to step back from his hug, let alone tell him she wanted no relationship with him.

  Everyone would be better off if Shane’s bullet had pierced her heart instead of her mother’s.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Cooper was frustrated, but he had no idea how to reach Mina. She was talking and participating in the activities of daily life, but she was still closed down. There was little difference between how she was now and how she’d been a week ago, when she had still been locked in silence.

  The only hint of him breaking through her barriers was at night. She still asked him to stay with her until she fell asleep. Mina had not invited him to stay the whole night, but she had yet to tell him not to sleep with her when she woke with him beside her each morning. Before falling asleep, she would be stiff and hold herself aloof from him. The inches separating them felt like miles.

  Once she fell asleep, she rolled into his arms and curled against him as though made to fit. Sometimes, she would sleep several hours before
nightmares woke her. She’d even slept the entire time two nights ago, but the nightmares had ravaged her seemingly twice as hard last night. Still, she had clung to him until waking.

  As soon as she woke in his arms, she always rolled away. Mina wouldn’t meet his eyes and seemed awkward, almost upset, with his presence in her room. She couldn’t seem to be rid of him fast enough. He would be lucky to get a mumbled morning greeting, and then she’d spend most of the day appearing to avoid him.

  He’d thought about not joining her at night, to see if she slept better, but the pleading in her eyes that she wouldn’t allow her lips to utter always had him following her to her room at the end of the day, no matter how much she had shunned his presence during the daytime.

  Coop thought he had done something wrong. He wanted to ask her what, but she wouldn’t allow any deep conversations. If he tried, she turned the topic until he was forced to give up. If he’d persisted, he would have felt like he was badgering her. In her fragile state, the last thing she needed to feel was pressured. Shane had forced her enough for more than a lifetime.

  Counseling himself that she needed time and space to work out her demons, and she would eventually let him in, was doing nothing to alleviate his frustration though. It was a physical ache of desire, but it permeated so much deeper than that. He wanted her with an intensity that left his heart aching and his soul twisted in knots. Sex had little to do with the hunger for Mina burning in him. Of course he desired her, but not just her body. He wanted her mind and her thoughts. Coop wanted to taste the secrets that seemed to hover at the edge of her lips. Most of all, he never again wanted to see her on the brink of appearing to share something before the light faded from her eyes and her lids slammed shut to block him out once more.

  It was a recipe for disaster, and he knew he should listen to the voice in his head telling him he needed a bit of space too, so he could regain his control. Without it, he had no chance of helping Mina or getting through the walls she had built around her heart. Even with that in mind, it was impossible to stay away from her, and he joined her in her bed again that night.