An Unyielding Desire (After The End Book 2) Page 6

  *****

  Coop worked beside her, letting her maintain silence, though he was dying to ask why she had come to him last night. He hadn’t minded, of course. Considering her seeking him out was one of his fantasies, it had taken him a minute to realize she was really there and not just a lingering figment from a dream. It had been so good to hold her, even when she’d cried like her heart was broken.

  It also left him feeling impotent, because he couldn’t really do anything to help her besides offer support. There were no counselors or antidepressants to help her manage the trauma. He knew next-to-nothing about psychology, so he was fumbling around blindly, going on instinct—which told him to adopt whatever role she needed and provide a reliable presence, so she would know she could always count on him.

  That didn’t make it any easier not to ask her if she was okay. She still seemed so traumatized, and while he imagined it was normal to feel that way two weeks after being violently raped by a stranger, he worried. Coop was used to finding the problem and fixing it, so it frustrated him that he couldn’t just “fix” her. It saddened him too, knowing she was hurting. He would gladly take her pain on himself, if he could.

  She looked up from digging onions out of the ground and gave him a small smile before returning to the task. Coop couldn’t help grinning like an idiot in return. Being around Mina just made him happy in a way that wasn’t familiar, and he couldn’t explain. Standing near her, performing the age-old task of gathering food, he realized he would be content to have this life with her forever.

  He didn’t think he was in love with someone he’d only known for a month, and whom he had never even kissed, but he could see himself heading that direction without a clue how to stop. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to prevent it from happening, despite the complications and her emotional baggage. A man who preferred a solid plan, he found himself surrendering to the unknown and deciding to just go with the flow, to let whatever happened between them develop in its own time.

  *****

  As the end of the day drew closer, Mina’s nerves grew tauter. By dinnertime, she couldn’t eat a thing due to her churning stomach. She did her best to avoid looking at Shane, but could feel his eyes on her throughout the meal. The one time she accidentally locked gazes with him, his brown eyes were hot with need, and she knew he was imagining all the things he was going to do to her that night.

  After dinner, she helped her mom and brother clear the table and wash the dishes. After that, it was her free time, but she had no idea what she wanted to do with it. Going to her room was unappealing, especially knowing Shane could decide to come for her at anytime. Instead, she drifted outside, where someone had built a small fire. The soldiers and some of her family sat around the blaze, either on the ground or some scrap lumber.

  There was an open seat by Dana, and she sat down beside her on the wobbling wood. Shane wasn’t in sight, so she let out a pent-up breath and released some tension she’d been carrying. As she sat quietly, she soon realized they were discussing their families. Dana told them about growing up in New York City with a single father, and her voice broke when she told them he had died of a heart attack during her senior year. “He left no money, and I had no options, so it was either a bunch of student loans or the Army.”

  “Do you think you made the right choice?” asked Lia, who was cuddled up to Tony in such a sweet way that it made Mina nauseated, knowing her sister’s secret.

  Dana shrugged. “I guess. I’d be in New York right now if I hadn’t, which is practically a death sentence. The cities are the worst, with starvation and violence. At least the Army taught me how to defend myself.”

  “Could you teach me?” Mina surprised herself by asking, but the request resonated with her. She could never survive a head-to-head confrontation with Shane, but it couldn’t hurt to get stronger and learn some defensive techniques. That was sensible in the new reality anyway.

  “That’s a great idea,” said Emme. “We should all learn.” She must have had the same thought as Mina. “After all, who knows what kind of people we’ll be facing, especially as things continue to erode?”

  Mina could feel several sets of eyes resting briefly on her, but didn’t meet any of them. She was the example of the worst that could happen, aside from murder. What could she say? It was true. They just had no idea how bad it really was.

  Dana nodded. “Sure. I can show you girls some stuff. You want to start tomorrow evening?”

  They agreed on a time and meeting spot. After that, everyone started drifting away toward bed. Mina reluctantly climbed the stairs to her room, her nerves stretched to the breaking point. She tried sitting on the bed and closing her eyes. Deep breathing didn’t help, and as the house quieted, and the darkness grew deeper outside, she couldn’t take it any longer.

  There was no way she was going to sit and wait for him to come to her room and rape her again. Quietly, she crept from her room, keeping an eye out in the hallway and down the stairs, in case she ran into him. He had come later in the evening last night, and she hoped he would do the same tonight. If so, he’d find her room empty.

  Once she stood in the living room, she wasn’t sure where to go. She thought about hiding in the closet under the stairs, but would that save her? He was so controlling that he would probably stealthily search the obvious hiding places when he found her room empty.

  It was a risk, but she couldn’t deny the compulsion directing her feet to the backdoor and the sun porch. Mina slipped out quietly, catching the closing door with her fingers to let it shut slowly with the tiniest sound. On bare feet, she padded across the smooth wooden porch to Coop’s bed.

  He seemed unsurprised to see her as he lifted his blankets and patted the mattress. Her mouth wobbled as she knelt down and stretched out beside him. Coop’s arms were warm and comforting as they settled around her, drawing her against him. She snuggled closer, her face against his neck, her head partially on his pillow. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  He didn’t ask for clarification. Coop just stroked her back in a circular motion that was similar to the one she sometimes used to soothe Tyler. “Sleep, honey. It will be better tomorrow,” he said against her hair.

  “No, it won’t.” She wasn’t sure she’d even spoken loudly enough for him to hear her, especially when he didn’t contradict her statement. Mina let his hand on her back, and the solid length of his body, soothe her to sleep. Once again, no nightmares plagued her.

  *****

  For the next few nights, Mina slipped out of her room as soon as everyone was asleep and went to Coop’s bed, staying with him until the first streaks of dawn colored the sky. Then she would slip from his bed, sometimes waking him and sometimes not, to return to her own room. She always opened the door with dread, half-expecting to find Shane waiting for her, but so far, he hadn’t been there.

  She’d managed to avoid him otherwise too, except for the uncomfortable meals shared at the table with everyone. His gaze was hard and angry on her, and his eyes promised retribution. Mina was scared of what he would do to her, which made her even more reluctant to wait in her room for him. She dared have a spark of hope that her plan to evade him would work, and she would be lucky enough to avoid him until he lost interest. Surely, he’d had to have some satisfaction to ease his need for revenge by this point?

  *****

  Her luck ran out six days after she’d started avoiding him. Mina was helping her mom in the kitchen when Shane came in for a drink of water. She almost cut her finger when she saw him. His gaze didn’t waver from her as he drank deeply from the cup he’d filled with water from the bucket. Her lips tightened with annoyance and more than a little fear. There was no reason for him to come all the way into the kitchen for water, since they kept fresh water in buckets, with ladles, in several places on the farm. It was just another way to intimidate her.

  “Oh, Shane, I’m glad to see you,” said Janie.

  He grinned. “That’s what a man likes to hear, Mrs.
Marsden.”

  “I was just going to send Mina to the orchard to fetch apples for dinner. Could you go with her please?”

  “No.” Mina almost shouted the word, much to her mom’s obvious shock. Striving for a steadier pitch, she added, “I’m sure Shane is busy, Mom. I can get one of the others to accompany me.” Anyone else in the world. She’d rather go in the company of a serial killer than him.

  Shane gave her a slow smile, full of anticipation. “It’s no problem, Mina. I’d be happy to take your daughter, Mrs. Marsden.”

  Mina’s eyes darted around the kitchen, searching for an escape, but finding none. Her stomach was tight with anxiety as she wiped her hands on a towel. “How many apples do you need, Mom?”

  “Oh, a couple dozen should do it, but why don’t you guys pick a basketful? That will keep us going for a couple of days, until we have a chance to go out and clear all the ripe ones. I was thinking we might have an apple picking party this weekend.” Janie made it sound like a privilege instead of a different type of work.

  “Sure, ma’am. I’ll have Mina back with your apples in a couple hours.” He put an easy arm around her shoulders, like they were buddies or something.

  Mina clenched her hands into fists at her side as she walked out of the kitchen at his side. She was able to slip free of his arm as they walked down the porch stairs, but she was conscious of him pressing too closely to her as they walked toward the orchard—which was on the far side of the farm and away from the main hub of activities everyone had currently focused on, including the fence and harvesting. The escape tunnel would let out in the orchard on the other side of the in-construction fence, but they hadn’t dug anywhere close to that point yet.

  Passing the fields, she caught Lia’s gaze, seeing her sister frown at the sight of Shane walking beside her. There seemed to be a tinge of jealousy in her expression, which Mina found hypocritical and disgusting, especially since Lia wore her lover’s son on her back, but refused him any role in her or the baby’s life. It was particularly galling to see that look since she wasn’t with him by choice.

  As they passed out of the view of anyone nearby, Mina shuddered, unsurprised when he clamped his hand around her forearm to drag her against him. She whimpered as he half-dragged her toward the orchard, dreading what was in store. She’d known he would be angry that she had evaded him, but she’d fooled herself into thinking maybe she could continue ducking him. She’d allowed herself to feel safe with Coop, to rely on his protection, which was unfair. He had no idea she even needed protecting, because she was too afraid to tell him.

  When the apple trees came into view, he almost hurled her against the nearest one. Mina cried out when the bark scraped her back through her flannel shirt.

  “Goddamn it, Mina, I thought we had an understanding.” He pressed his body against hers, pushing her deeper into the rough bark. His hands were on her shoulders. “No more games, I thought. Except hide-and-seek seems to be your newest method of pissing me off.”

  She stared at him without speaking, her pulse racing. His hands suddenly fastened around her throat with enough force to impede her flow of oxygen without actually choking her.

  “Do you like me hurting you? Is that what this is about? Do you want to provoke me to the point where I do something you’ll regret?” He squeezed tighter. “I warned you not to fuck with me. Are you going to make me kill Mrs. Marsden?”

  Mina clawed at his hands, trying to escape his hold so she could breathe properly. She tried to speak, but he squeezed harder. “Please,” she managed to mouth.

  Gradually, his hold lessened, but he didn’t release her. “Please what?”

  “Don’t hurt my mother. Don’t hurt anyone.”

  He sagged slightly, his shoulders suggesting he was drained. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, but you’re putting me in this position, Mina.”

  “Just let me go.” To her surprise, his hands moved back to her shoulders. “Thank you.” Oh, that cost her pride to mutter. “I meant you could just stop this whole thing right now, and no one else would get hurt.”

  Shane’s hands squeezed her shoulders, but not too painfully. “It’s not in my nature to give up what’s mine.”

  “But I’m not yours,” she dared whisper. “You can’t make someone want to belong with you.”

  He laughed. “You’re so naïve. I don’t care if you want to be with me. You’re with me. You’re mine. End of story.” Shane arched his brow. “Unless you prefer I kill your whore sister and take my son?”

  She shivered at the way his brown eyes had iced over. That color should be warm, not frigid, but he managed to look frosty enough to freeze her. The thought of him hurting Lia was bad, but knowing he would take Ty, and they’d never see the baby again, made her chest ache. “You can’t do that.”

  “When are you going to learn that I can do whatever I want? The world is different now, Mina. We don’t have to follow stupid rules or deny ourselves what we desire.” His hands settled on her hips, and he shifted her so her pelvis cushioned his forming erection. “I want this to be simple and easy, but I can do messy and complicated. So, which will it be? Are you going to continue fucking with me, or just fucking me?”

  She bit her lip, looking away from him as she forced her muscles to relax. Shane undid her jeans with no fumbling, and then opened his fly. He cupped one of her breasts, rubbing the nipple through the flannel and her bra.

  “Touch me, Mina.”

  She shook her head.

  With a small curse, Shane grasped one of her hands and pushed it against his cock. “Put your hand around me.” When she finally complied, he said, “Stroke and squeeze.”

  Moisture pressed against her closed eyes as she stroked his cock, hating the grunts of pleasure he made and the way he thrust against her hand. She hated it even more when he put his hand inside her underwear to touch her in a similar manner. When he coaxed her body to produce wetness, he withdrew his hand and pushed her jeans down to mid-thigh.

  She let go of him so he could do the same with his pants. Mina’s fingernails bit into her palms as she prepared herself for his violation. He pushed inside her with some discomfort, and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. No matter how many times he did this to her, she couldn’t imagine ever being okay with it. She might be forced to passively accept him, but she would never be blasé about it.

  Shane plunged into her hard and deep, slamming her back against the tree with each thrust. Mina tried not to cry out, but the pain was mounting, and she finally groaned. Immediately, she looked at him, bracing herself for another hit.

  “You like that, huh?” His face was red with exertion.

  Mina blinked at his cluelessness.

  “Tell me how much you like it, baby girl.”

  Her mouth felt numb as she whispered, “I like it.”

  “Do you love it when I pound you?” He moved more urgently, scraping her back up and down the tree.

  Tears of pain came to her eyes, but she nodded. “Love it,” she mumbled.

  “You’re going to love this.” He surged deep within her, filling her as he came.

  As he spent himself inside her, Mina let her head roll to the side, not looking at him. He kissed her neck, and as he said against her ear, “Be waiting for me tonight,” she honestly hated her life at that moment.

  *****

  She made herself wait for him. Mina lay tensely under the covers, unable to sleep, and waited for the sound of her door opening. It came late in the night. Without a light to see the clock, she couldn’t be sure what time, but estimated around midnight.

  He shed his clothes before climbing into the bed with her. Mina couldn’t help comparing the sly way he sneaked into her bed with the way she’d been going to Coop for the past week. Would he worry about her tonight, since she hadn’t come to him? Her stomach jolted with dread as she considered the possibility he might come check on her. If he found Shane in her bed, without her trying to fight him off, he’d never believe she wasn
’t a willing participant. That would be the end of any possibility of having a relationship with Coop.

  She almost snorted aloud at the absurdity of that thought. There could be no relationship with Coop, beyond friendship. Shane would make sure of that. There was no escape from him.

  She squeezed her eyes shut when he stroked her face before bending his head to kiss her. The kisses were gentle and sweet, and he slipped his tongue inside her mouth to stroke hers. Mina wanted to bite his tongue, but knew she would pay harshly for rejecting him. It took all of her will power to just remain still under his coaxing onslaught, instead of shoving him away. Tenderness was so much worse than force.

  “Good girl, doing what you were told.” He quickly stripped off her nightgown and underwear. Mina squirmed with humiliation, but didn’t try to fight him. “A good girl like you deserves a reward.”

  “I don’t deserve anything,” she said in a raspy voice.

  “Sure you do.” He moved his mouth down her body, his ultimate goal easily inferred.

  Mina shook her head, whimpering in protest, as he violated her in the most intimate way possible. She cursed him and herself as her body responded. When he’d made her come twice, he seemed satisfied with his cruelty and entered her. She endured the sex, but couldn’t banish the images of him between her legs from her mind. It made her sick, and she almost vomited on him, barely pushing him aside in time to grab the chamber pot and heave out the remains of the meager amount of dinner she’d consumed.

  He pushed her hair off her face in a tender gesture, seemingly not angry that he hadn’t finished before she shoved him off her. “Get it out, and you’ll feel better.”

  She heaved again, but produced nothing this time. When she looked up and saw his huge grin, she glared at him. “Only a sadistic bastard enjoys someone else’s suffering.”

  He laughed instead of looking angry. “Remember it’s for a worthy cause, Mina. It’s normal to feel miserable for the first few weeks.”