Losing Leah Read online

  She didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. Through sheer determination, Leah made it through the rest of the dance, tearing herself from his arms the moment the song ended. She hurried away from the deck, opening the first door she came to, and flicked on the light. It wasn’t a powder room, as she had hoped, but a small room with a table and chairs that could be used for multiple purposes. She closed the door, leaning against it.

  Her heart hammered in her ears, and Leah took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. It was daunting to face returning to the deck, and Nikos, but she couldn’t hide in here all night. As it was, she had embarrassed herself by fleeing from him, along with revealing more of her emotions than she had planned.

  With another deep breath, Leah straightened and turned, grasping the doorknob to turn it. As the door opened, she gasped to find Nikos standing on the other side. She had the childish urge to slam the door in his face but resisted. “Excuse me,” she said with what she hoped could pass for cool indifference. “I thought this was the restroom.”

  He put a palm against the door, pushing it toward her. Leah tried to hold it, but he was stronger and soon slipped inside. A wave of dread washed over her when he closed the door with a soft click. “I need the powder room. Please move out of my way.”

  The corner of his mouth curled upward. “I know what you need, Leah, and it isn’t escape to the powder room.”

  She sniffed. “You really don’t know anything about me, so how could you know what I need?” Leah reached past him, for the knob, but ended up much too close.

  He chuckled. “You know what you need too.”

  Leah looked up, meeting his gaze. “I don’t need a fling that will complicate things, Nikos.”

  He took her hand, folding it in his to press against his chest. “It doesn’t have to be a fling, agapi mou.”

  She shook her head, denying his words and her own urges. “Let me go, Nikos.”

  He seemed a little sad. “I can’t.” Nikos drew her into his arms.

  She could have stepped back, or tried to resist, but it was impossible to deny what they both wanted. With a small sigh of defeat, she melted into his arms, pressing her ear to his chest. His heart thumped as quickly as hers, and she moved her hand on his chest to his waist, smiling slightly when a light stroke made his heartbeat increase even more.

  Nikos cupped her face in his hands, tilting her head back as his descended. His lips coaxed hers to open with light, feathery kisses. Leah moaned into his mouth as he swept his tongue inside hers. As he deepened the kiss, she strained to get closer, pushing her hands under his jacket to knead his flesh through the linen shirt. He wore no tie, so the buttons of his shirt yielded easily, with no impediment.

  His breath hissed through his teeth when she undid the first few buttons and plunged her hand inside. His skin was hot, with a light dusting of hair that tickled her fingers. Leah stroked him, moving her hand lower. He exhaled sharply when she raked her nails lightly over his nipple.

  “Leah.” Her name was more a harsh exhalation than a true sound. He lifted her into his arms, making her cry out with surprise, and carried her to the table. The table was hard under her bottom, but not as hard as the sleek muscles rippling under her husband’s skin. She found his responses fascinating as she continued caressing him. Each time he twitched or shuddered, she smiled. It was exhilarating to have so much power over Nikos, when he usually left her feeling inept and weak, no matter how well she hid it.

  “Why did I wait so long?” Nikos asked against her lips, before claiming them in a hungry kiss that allowed no reply to his question.

  Leah surrendered to his masterful kisses, her thoughts growing fuzzier the more they kissed. She squirmed against him when he cupped her breast, thumbing the nipple through the thin layer of silk. She threaded her other hand through his hair, tangling her fingers in the glossy black strands, while his heart continued to beat rapidly under her palm.

  Nikos’s hands moved over her body with blatant possessiveness, but she didn’t mind. His touch was intoxicating, and his kisses drugged her into a state of limpid compliance. For the first time ever, Leah experienced true desire. She wanted him to hold her naked body against his and to grasp his waist as she guided him inside her.

  There were so many sensations swamping her that it was difficult to separate the sources until Nikos moved his hand up her thigh, under the hem of her dress. She froze, eyes wide open, as he hesitated, fingers hovering over the scrap of silk and lace shielding her most intimate place. He lifted his mouth from hers, and their gazes locked. “Leah?”

  The rational part of her screamed at her to push his hand away and leave the room before their interlude led them to an irrevocable decision. The other, more primitive part of her yearned to feel his fingers against her. She bowed her head, pressing her forehead against his shoulder, letting him decide.

  She bit her lower lip when he stroked her through the panties, simultaneously wanting him to stop and to push aside the material to touch her directly. As though he’d read her thoughts, Nikos slipped a finger inside her panties, touching her wet heat. Leah cried out, lying back as he guided her, his fingers moving restlessly between her thighs.

  Leah closed her eyes, clenching her hands into fists to keep from uttering sounds of pleasure, afraid she couldn’t control the volume if she gave the impulse free reign. He touched her intimately, evoking sensations and emotions she’d never imagined. With tender skill, Nikos brought her to the edge. Leah arched against his hand, groaning as she climaxed. He leaned over, sealing her mouth with his to muffle her cries of release.

  Leah’s body convulsed, and she whimpered as the pleasure ebbed. She couldn’t find words to express herself, so she stroked her fingers through his hair as he kissed her with unbridled need.

  They froze as the sound of voices passed by the corridor. Leah blinked and then pulled away from him so quickly she almost rolled off the table. Nikos caught her, easing them both into an upright position. “The voices of reason,” he said with a self-conscious grin. She nodded, still incapable of speech. “It’s for the best,” he said as he straightened her appearance and refastened his buttons.

  “Yes,” Leah managed to rasp. It was definitely for the best that things had gone no farther.

  “I don’t want to make love to you for the first time on a hard table.”

  She dragged in a deep breath as he opened the door.

  “We should be back to the harbor soon,” said Nikos after a glance at his watch. “I’d best return you to polite company or risk ravishing you here.”

  Leah managed a shaky smile. “Yes.” She didn’t recoil when he put his arm around her waist, drawing her close. Sanity was rapidly returning, and she knew she couldn’t go to bed with Nikos, but still lacked the coherence to tell him. As they rejoined the party, she almost turned to him, but couldn’t. It made sense to tell him she hadn’t changed her mind about sex, despite what had just occurred, but it felt too nice to have his arm around her to say anything right then. Feeling cowardly, but reveling in his touch, she snuggled against him, allowing herself a few more minutes in his arms.

  Chapter Five

  The cruise ended within the hour, returning to the harbor. The limousine awaited, and Leah summoned her courage as they slipped inside. A glance forward confirmed the privacy screen was in place. She licked her lips, searching for the best way to word her thoughts.

  Nikos wasn’t helping matters. He pushed the windblown hair off her neck to nibble on her skin. Leah pulled away, but he followed. Her thoughts tried to fracture again, but she marshaled them. “Nikos, stop.”

  He lifted his head. “I’m sorry to paw at you like a horny teenager,” he said with self-deprecating humor. “I suppose I can wait a few more minutes, for the sake of decorum.”

  Leah scooted over slightly, putting some distance between them. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why?” he asked with a frown.

  “I’ve given you the wrong idea.” She
shook her head. “I shouldn’t have let things get so far.”

  His expression turned wary. “Do you regret what happened?”

  She cocked her head, finally shaking it. “No. I should, but I don’t.” With a deep breath, she added, “But it can’t happen again.”

  He cursed. “Why not, Leah? Who would it hurt? You’re my wife. It is perfectly normal to make love to you.”

  She swallowed. “There is no normal for us, Nikos. Everything is an illusion.”

  Nikos exhaled sharply. “No.”

  “Yes,” she insisted. “We’re married, but only for a few more months. We both know getting physical will only complicate things.”

  He grasped her hand, pressing it high against his thigh. “It is no illusion how much I want you.”

  She tugged free of his hold. Leah met his eyes, admitting to both of them what she had been denying for so long. “I want you too, Nikos, but I’m not going to give in to that urge. I have to think of the long-term consequences. As much as I want you to make love to me, I can’t let it happen.”

  With a long sigh, Nikos raked a hand through his hair. “I could change your mind.”

  Leah nodded. “You probably could, but it wouldn’t change anything. You know I’m right.”

  He sighed again. “Right now, agapi mou, all I know is I will not sleep well tonight from frustration.”

  She smiled tentatively. “I know the feeling.”

  Nikos watched the door to the nursery close behind Leah. It required every ounce of will power not to follow her and finish what they had started. His body ached for her, and he knew she was in a similar state. Leah had admitted he could change her mind. It was tempting, but he held back.

  He cursed himself, hating that he was respecting her decision, though it was the right thing to do. Nikos didn’t believe lovemaking would complicate things, because he wanted to keep her as his wife, but it was right to honor her choice. He would do so, for now, and reluctantly. Nikos could give her a few more days to sort out her confusion and realize she was denying them both needlessly. With a rueful chuckle, Nikos admitted to himself that he wasn’t averse to trying to sway her to his point-of-view. Leah would find it difficult to maintain her resolve when he moved forward with his seduction plans.

  Leah sought solace in gardening a few mornings later, when she successfully managed to slip away from the villa while Nikos was engaged in his morning business briefings. It was a relief to have some space and a chance to remind herself that she was not going to sleep with him. In light of his siege, it was getting harder to stick with that decision. She couldn’t think of a better word. Nikos was methodically probing her weak points, preparing for invasion. She trembled, liking it too much when her mind supplied an image of him conquering her. If she couldn’t regain focus, he would find easy conquest.

  She couldn’t allow that to happen. Exposed to his presence and undivided attention for most of the past few days, Leah had finally admitted to herself that she had never recovered from her “crush”. She loved Nikos, but it was emotional suicide. He wanted her, for the moment, but that would change as soon as they returned to their real lives, away from Trini Island. It was going to be difficult enough to move on and try to suppress her feelings for him until and after the dissolution of their marriage. Having known the ecstasy of his lovemaking only to have it wrenched away would devastate her.

  “You are quiet, Kyria Leah.”

  She forced a smile for Angelo, pleased he had finally stopped calling her Kyria Andrakis. “I didn’t sleep well,” she said while stabbing a hand spade into the rich soil. That was certainly true. Nikos had teased and touched her most of the day, but had bid her goodnight like a perfect gentleman, other than the wicked gleam in his eye. Her only satisfaction came from knowing he had gone to bed just as frustrated as her.

  Angelo nodded, not speaking again for a few minutes. He seemed determined to cheer her up, as though sensing she was troubled. Leah laughed her way through the next hour, listening to the young man recount in his imperfect English the adventures he and his brother had shared over the years. It was difficult to be so introspective and melancholy with such a charming companion.

  He was midway through a story involving his youngest brother and the family goat when a chill fell over the warmth of the day. Leah shivered, looking up to find Nikos looming over her, blocking out the sun.

  Angelo fell silent for a moment before saying, “Kalimera, Kyrios Andrakis.”

  “Good afternoon,” returned Nikos coldly, making the younger man flinch.

  Leah flinched herself when he turned his scorching gaze on her. She had done nothing wrong but still felt awash with guilt under his accusing stare. She swallowed the lump in her throat, striving to sound normal. “Did you need something, Nikos?”

  He arched a brow. “I needed my wife. I’ve been looking for you for the past two hours.” He curled his lip with contempt. “I should have known I would find you playing in the dirt.”

  She strove to sound disinterested. “Yes. What do you want?”

  Nikos’s eyes narrowed. “You know the answer to that, agapi mou.” The term sounded more like a threat than an endearment. “For starters, I would like my wife to behave with proper dignity. We have servants for these tasks.”

  She glared at him when Angelo bowed his head. “Of course, Kyrios.” As calmly as possible, Leah set down the spade and got to her feet, grimacing at the dirt covering her shirt and shorts. It didn’t bother her, but she knew Nikos must be livid to see her looking like one of the staff. Inclining her chin, she met his gaze.

  Nose wrinkled with distaste, Nikos grasped her upper arm, pulling her with him. “This is inexcusable.”

  “Save the tirade for private,” she said, jerking away from his hold. Leah held her head high and marched back to the villa, conscious of his presence directly behind her. A spark of fear ignited as they entered the house, and Nikos directed her up the stairs toward the master suite. Leah was certain he wouldn’t hurt her, but she still worried about the coming confrontation. Would he be so disgusted by her behavior as to send her back to New York without him and Arianna? That should have been a relief, but the thought filled her with anxiety.

  She held herself stiffly when they entered the room. The door slamming made her jump, despite her best efforts to maintain a calm façade. “Why are you behaving this way?”

  “Strip.”

  Leah’s eyes widened. “What?”

  Nikos raked her with a contemptuous look. “You look like a street urchin. Wash off the dirt and make yourself presentable.”

  Leah shook her head. “No. I’m tired of taking orders from you, Nikos.” She held up her hands. “I like dirt under my fingernails. I feel normal when I’m digging in the soil. You have no idea how much I’ve missed it.”

  “You defy me?” He seemed to have trouble grasping that she would do such a thing. “You are my wife. Make yourself look like it before we talk.”

  With a toss of her head, Leah turned away from him. “We’ll discuss this when you’ve calmed down.” She turned toward her room, but gasped when Nikos put a hand on her arm. “Let go.”

  Ignoring her protest and attempts to free herself, Nikos lifted Leah and carried her into the bathroom. “Put me down.”

  “As you wish.” He set her down in the shower before turning on the faucet.

  Leah shrieked when cold water cascaded over her before it turned warm. “You’re crazy.”

  A vein in his temple throbbed visibly. “Wash yourself.” His voice dropped an octave as his gaze settled on her breasts under the soaked t-shirt. “Unless you want help?”

  “Get out.” Leah slammed the shower door, watching him through the opaque glass until he left the bathroom. Livid, Leah stepped out of the shower, shedding her wet clothes and shoes with some difficulty. Finding it pointless not to finish the shower, she returned to the stall, soaping with quick efficiency. Her heart raced, and her stomach ached with the effort to keep from screamin
g. How dare he treat her that way?

  She was clean within minutes, but as time passed, Leah found herself dawdling. With the return of a cooler head, she no longer wanted to rush into a confrontation. Why was she so eager to face him again? The first round certainly hadn’t gone in her favor. Leah was still fuming at his treatment, but perhaps it was wise to give him time to calm down too. He had displayed a depth of anger she had never seen before. Surely, he had realized that by now and was trying to regain control?

  Clinging to that hope, Leah forced herself from the shower. She forced herself to dry off quickly, instead of drawing out the process. It was only after she’d dried off that Leah realized she had nothing to wear. A quick glance at the door revealed no robes on the hooks, indicating Irina had collected them for washing.

  The plush bath sheet wasn’t adequate armor in which to face Nikos, but the alternative was even less appealing. No way was she going into the bedroom wearing nothing. The towel was long enough to wrap around her twice, and she tucked the end as securely as she could. After running a comb through her damp hair, she couldn’t find any remaining reason not to leave the bathroom. Taking a deep breath for fortification, Leah walked from the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

  Nikos had taken advantage of her absence to remove his wet shirt. She swallowed thickly at the sight of his bare chest, feeling a stir of something other than umbrage.

  He seemed to have regained control. “I owe you an apology, Leah. I had no right to treat you that way.”

  She inclined her head to acknowledge his apology. “Thank you.” Leah tipped her head. “Why did you react so strongly? You know my major was botany. It shouldn’t have shocked you so much to find me in the garden.”

  Nikos ran a hand through his damp hair, further tangling it. “I suppose I could say the sight of my wife on her knees in the dirt made me so angry.”

  Leah nodded. “I can see why. You’re used to glamorous women, and I try to live up to that as much as possible.” She shrugged. “I just couldn’t resist the allure. I’m sure you don’t understand the attraction, but I have missed it.”