A Matter of Honor Read online

  Elizabeth shook her head. “What do you know of planning a wedding? We shall begin making arrangements immediately.” She wrung her hands together. “Oh, it will take at least three months for Mama to receive a letter and make travel arrangements. Allow another three months for her arrival—”

  Alex cleared his throat. “We have decided to dispense with waiting. The marriage will take place three days from now.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “That is impossible. You have only just met, for one thing. What will people say?”

  “We met in London,” Rebecca blurted out. “We formed a…friendship, and when we met again, we realized it was more than that. Neither of us wishes to wait for half a year.”

  “It is indecent.”

  Rebecca smirked. “You married Philip one month after meeting him.”

  A guilty flush blossomed in her cheeks. “That was only because Mama was so opposed to me marrying a merchant without a title. He had to return to Boston, and I wanted to come with him.” She glared at her sister. “At least Mama was invited to my wedding.”

  “I am sorry to distress you, but we have decided.” Alex inclined his head. “Rebecca will need help making her personal arrangements, and I am relying on you to see she rests and recovers from this illness.”

  Elizabeth's mouth closed with a click. Eventually, she capitulated. “Very well. I see you are as stubborn as my sister.” She sighed. “At least the gossip will die down in a month or two when there is no evidence to support their speculation.”

  “Er, right.” Alex lifted Rebecca's hand and pressed a kiss to her palm through the glove. “Good evening, my love.”

  “Good night.” She dropped her eyes from his, unwilling to let him see the hurt his false words caused. If only they were the truth, she would have no hesitation accepting him as a husband. If only she was his love.

  “Good night, Lady Elizabeth.” Alex left the room and presumably the house.

  She braced herself for her sister's words. Silence followed his departure. She stared up at Elizabeth. “Well?”

  Her sister heaved a sigh. “I do hope your hasty union is worth injuring Mama's feelings.”

  She flinched. “I have no desire to hurt her, but she lives far away. I cannot wait.”

  “Why not? What is the rush, sister? I know how love can be, but surely you can restrain yourselves for a few months?”

  Rebecca hated to continue hurting her sister, but she was forced to shake her head. “In three days I will marry him. Nothing you say can change my mind.”

  “Fine.” Tears welled in Elizabeth's eyes. “Good evening, Rebecca.”

  “Sleep well.”

  With a sniff, Elizabeth swept from the room.

  Rebecca wiped her own streaming eyes as she rose from the bed. “You may come out now, Nora. They are gone.”

  Within seconds, her companion entered the chamber, wearing a robe over her nightdress, and a ruffled cap on her head. “Was that the pirate, m'lady?” Her voice was a timid whisper.

  “Aye, but he is not truly a pirate.” She sighed. “It is a long story, and I am tired. Tomorrow, I will explain.”

  Nora bowed her head. “Are you happy, m'lady?”

  Rebecca let her expression answer as she turned for Nora to unbutton the pink gown. What had she to be happy about? A husband who did not want her, and a sister who had been hurt by her inability to be truthful. Add to that a soon-to-be angered mother and she could see little to buoy her to a more cheerful frame of mind.

  Chapter 11

  “By God's authority, I pronounce you joined eternally in His sight and by His holy ordinances.” The priest, a portly man with a baldhead and kindly smile, closed his Bible. “You may kiss your bride.”

  Alex pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth, and then lifted her left hand, where his ancestors' ring now rested. Together, they turned to Elizabeth and Philip, the witnesses and only guests in their own parlor. As she had done for the last three days, Elizabeth avoided Rebecca's eyes.

  “Thank you for allowing us to have our wedding here,” Alex said.

  Philip nodded. “Of course, Alex. Now, I believe Cook has prepared a special luncheon.” He turned to the priest. “You are welcome to join us, Father Shaunessy.”

  The priest shook his head. “I have much to do at the rectory, but thank you for your kindness.”

  “Of course, Father.” Philip returned his gaze to Alex and Rebecca. “Shall we?”

  Alex lifted the fob and opened his pocket watch. “I did want to get Rebecca settled at my home.”

  He waved his hand at Alex. “Servants can deal with that while we dine.”

  Alex nodded his head. “Thank you for your continuing hospitality.”

  “I must remove this gown,” Rebecca whispered. It was irrational, but she felt like the high-necked, slim-fitting white dress was choking her. “If you will excuse me?” She didn't wait for a response as she hurried from the dining room and rushed up the stairs to her room, where Nora awaited.

  Nora was unbuttoning the tiny buttons when the bedroom door opened, admitting Elizabeth. Rebecca held herself stiffly, hurt by her sister's behavior during the past few days.

  “Congratulations.” Elizabeth wrung her hands and dropped her gaze to the carpet. “You looked beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” She winced at her cold tone. “You did a lovely job decorating the parlor.”

  She shrugged. “I did my best with the time I had.”

  “Will you continue to remind me that I have hurt you and Mama long after this day has passed?”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “I did not mean that as an admonishment. Only a statement of fact.” She glanced away as Rebecca stepped out of the gown. “I came up here for another purpose.”

  “Yes?”

  “I did tell you about what happens between husband and wife, but you refused to believe me.” Her face was a fiery red. “I wanted to ensure you knew I spoke the truth.”

  Rebecca nodded. “I am convinced.” She lifted her arms as Nora assisted her with a pink and yellow floral-print day dress with white ribbons trimming the hem.

  Elizabeth bit her lip. “Do not be alarmed if you do not enjoy the experience at first. It will soon become pleasurable.”

  Her eyes widened. “Not everyone enjoys it the first time?”

  “Heavens, no. It will hurt, but it is your duty to endure.”

  “Surely the pain fades and pleasure takes over?”

  Elizabeth looked dumbfounded. “I do not think so, sister. Do not expect such a thing.” She came forward to squeeze her hand. “Endure it as you must, and soon you will adapt to what is expected of you. One day, you will anticipate the act as much as your husband.” Her blush deepened with the admission.

  Rebecca nodded, incapable of words. What kind of lady was she? She had more than endured her first experience with Alex, and had spent the last three days anticipating another encounter. Was she depraved and wicked for craving his touch? “Thank you for telling me, Elizabeth.”

  Her sister nodded and scurried from the room. Rebecca's head bowed as Nora fastened the buttons. “I am a wanton,” she whispered.

  Nora squeezed her shoulder. “No, m'lady. Each experience is different—or so I have heard. There is nothing wrong with receiving pleasure from your husband's touch. It is a gift from God.”

  “But he was not my husband.” Rebecca turned, laying her head on Nora's shoulder. “He was not even in my acquaintance, and I let him…I wanted him to take me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Heaven help me, but I still ache for him.”

  “Do not be overly alarmed, m'lady. Love and passion can often overwhelm a person, causing them to act contrary to the way they always believed themselves to be.” She stroked Rebecca's hair. “Take joy in his presence and hold him close to your heart.”

  Rebecca lifted her head, forcing a smile for Nora. “You are right.” But what happened when a husband took no joy in his wife, and forbade her expressing affection? What did a wife do
when her husband did not share her feelings? How did she find joy in a mockery of marriage? “I must join them downstairs.”

  Nora's eyes were misty. “I did wonder if I would ever see this day. I have cared for you for fifteen years.” Her voice softened. “I could not love you more if you were my own child, m'lady.”

  Rebecca swiped at her weeping eyes. She could find no words to reply to Nora's, so she settled for another tight hug before rushing from the room to rejoin her family and new husband.

  Chapter 12

  Rebecca eyed the master suite with wide eyes as she followed Alex inside. Like the rest of the house, it was exquisitely furnished. She failed to take in the general details in more than a cursory way. Her attention was immediately drawn to the large bed in the middle of the room. A white coverlet covered its expanse, and heavy curtains had been drawn back.

  “Rebecca?”

  She blinked, returning her attention to him. “Yes?”

  “Your room is through this door.”

  She frowned at the way her stomach dipped. It was indigestion from their luncheon; certainly not disappointment at finding they had separate rooms. She followed him through the door, passing through the dressing room and another doorway before entering her room.

  The bed was considerably smaller, without the posts and privacy curtains. A dark-blue velvet spread covered the bed. The rest of the room was bare except for a cheval looking glass, a set of shelves, a gilt chair, and a table near the bed. A fire already burned in the gray stone fireplace in the corner of the room. A thick, white rug lay before it.

  “Will it suit you?”

  She nodded.

  Alex stood by the door for a moment. “Do you require anything further?”

  Rebecca shook her head.

  “Georgina has already unpacked most of your things.”

  “Georgina?”

  “The upstairs maid. She shall be your personal attendant until Nora rejoins you. If you need anything, please summon her or Bentley.”

  “Thank you.” His reminder left Rebecca wanting to cry. She longed for Nora to join the staff, but her companion had insisted on remaining with Elizabeth until the baby came. She had seen the excitement on her face and suspected Nora would once again return to the position of nanny. It was irrational to feel abandoned, but she did.

  He sighed. “I shall see you at dinner.”

  “Would you please send up a tray?”

  Alex frowned. “Are you unwell?”

  “I am tired. May I also have a bath?”

  “Of course.”

  “Thank you,” she said again as he left. Once he had gone, Rebecca collapsed into the chair near the fireplace, hoping to ease the chill inside her. It was a chill that came from fear rather than cold. Would he want her tonight? Could she lie with him without revealing how she felt?

  She closed her eyes, wishing she had someone to counsel her. Marriages without love were commonplace, but she had hoped for more. If she had to settle for such a state, why must she love her groom? Damn her traitorous heart.

  Rebecca jumped when someone knocked on her door. “Enter.”

  A plump woman in her late-twenties entered, curtsying. “M'lady, I am Georgina. The master said you wanted to bathe?”

  “Yes.”

  She inclined her head. “Bentley is seeing to it now. Would you prefer to eat before your bath?”

  “No.” The special luncheon had left little room for a meal anytime soon.

  “Yes, m'lady.” With another curtsy, Georgina left the room, returning soon with two men, who filled a tub for her.

  After they had left, Rebecca slid into the hot, rose-scented water, glad to have a larger tub than the one on the Margaret. She was able to sink down and brace her head on the rim, allowing some of the tension that had built up during the day to melt away. It was only the water turning tepid that forced her from the bath.

  Georgina had laid a sheer white nightdress on the bed—a wedding gift from Elizabeth, sewn by Madam Brovay. Once she had dressed and Georgina brushed her hair, she slid into the soft bed, laying her head against the feather pillows. To her surprise, Rebecca found herself slipping easily into sleep. Despite her turbulent thoughts, her body craved sleep. She did not resist or try to keep her lids open, seeing no reason to stay awake. It was doubtful Alex would come for her tonight.

  Chapter 13

  She awoke as the bed dipped under his weight. “Christoph?” she asked, still in a haze.

  “Alex,” he corrected in a gentle voice. “You did not wait for me.”

  A yawn overtook her as she struggled to gather wits scattered by a deep sleep. “I was tired.”

  He chuckled. “You sound annoyed, Rebecca.”

  “What are you doing?” She suddenly realized he was in bed beside her. “What time is it?”

  “After midnight. I found myself unable to focus on business matters for thoughts of you.” He pulled her against his bare chest. “There is no reason to deny myself.”

  “But—”

  “You are my wife.” His expression turned from anticipation to concern. “Are you indisposed?”

  She bit her lip, tempted to lie, but knowing she couldn't avoid his touch indefinitely. Nor did she want to. She ached for him and couldn't resist, regardless of what that indicated about her moral fiber. “No. Just sleepy.”

  His head lowered, and he brushed his lips against hers. “I believe I can keep you awake.”

  She snuggled closer as his mouth took possession of hers. Her eyes widened when she felt his bare leg with her foot. She explored his hip, finding him free of clothing. She wanted to feel her bare flesh against his.

  He seemed to read her thoughts as he pushed the gown up to her hips, pulled her into a sitting position, and removed it. Without looking, he tossed the lace confection over his shoulder, uncaring of where it landed. His mouth moved to her neck as he cupped her breasts.

  Rebecca bit back a moan as his fingers toyed with her nipples. She arched her back.

  “Shall I kiss them?” His voice was low and hoarse.

  She nodded, throwing her head back as he trailed his mouth from her neck to her right breast. She winced as he clamped his lips over it.

  He lifted his head. “Are you alright?”

  “They are sensitive.”

  Alex nodded as he returned his mouth to her breast, this time caressing so gently her stomach quivered. She closed her eyes and gripped his shoulders as he laved one nipple before switching his attention to the other. He showed no favoritism and alternated frequently.

  “Your breasts are perfect,” he said, lifting his head. “They fit in my hands as if they were made to nestle there. The nipples are firm and round.” He took time to run his tongue across her left nipple, and it beaded into a hard knot. Alex looked at her again, licking his lips. “I am hard-pressed to choose which is more perfect—your breasts or your sweet pussy.”

  A blush threatened to stain her cheeks, and she tried to hide her embarrassment with his scandalous—but pleasing—praise. He seemed intent on teaching her everything her proper upbringing had failed to. She moaned and tangled her hands in his hair as he dipped his head once more and rolled her nipple around his tongue. One of his hands settled on her thigh, near her pussy.

  Pussy, she thought to herself. The thought of uttering the word brought the scarlet flush she had tried to fight down to her cheeks, sweeping up from her neck. She tried whispering it, but her tongue refused to obey.

  His mouth at her breast soon distracted her, as did his hand stroking up and down her thigh, flirting with her pussy, but not actually touching it. By the time he lifted his head again, she was whimpering and desperate for release. “Please.”

  “What do you want?”

  Her cheeks burned bright red, and her voice shook when she said, “You.”

  He rested his forehead against hers as he pulled her onto his lap. “I want something too, Rebecca.”

  She was willing to agree to anything, if only h
e would take her. “What?”

  “Touch me.”

  She moved a hand from his shoulder to his waist. She squeezed gently, eying him uncertainly. “You want me to touch you, without a barrier?”

  Alex laughed as he lifted her hand and placed it against his chest. He took one of her fingers and rubbed it across his nipple before he dropped his hand. “Just your skin against mine, love.”

  She focused completely on the hard nub, first exploring with a light touch, then increasing the pressure. She froze when he gasped. “Have I hurt you?”

  “Nay. You are doing well.” He sounded strained.

  Rebecca bit her lip, wondering what else she could do. Inspiration struck as she remembered how wonderful it felt to have his lips around her nipples. She bent her head and ran her tongue across his other nipple, this time smiling when she heard him gasp again. She nipped him before she slid her tongue across his chest, through the light hair, to suckle the neglected nub.

  “Rebecca.”

  She lifted her head reluctantly. “Yes?”

  He took her hand from his rib and slid it down his body. “Stroke my cock.”

  She had resisted touching his cock directly when she bathed him weeks ago and relieved him later that day, but now she relished the opportunity to explore the length of him. Rebecca slid her fingers across his smooth skin, carefully tracing each throbbing vein. She paused at the tip, cupping her hand around his cock and sliding the skin down, then back up. He moaned, making her giggle.

  Her giggle cut off abruptly as he lifted her higher onto his lap. “M'lord?”'

  “You know what you do to me, despite that air of innocence.”

  A melancholy expression crossed her face. “We both know I am no innocent, Alex.”

  He shook his head. “You are. One day of loving does not make you any less so.”

  She buried her face in his shoulder. “It made me a wanton. I am no lady.”

  Alex laughed, pushing up her head. “What makes you say that?”

  “Elizabeth said I was not supposed to enjoy our first time together.”

  He lifted a brow. “You told her about our…liaison?”