A Reluctant Companion Read online

  Layko shook her head. “The agreement is open-ended, and we can leave anytime we wish, just as Tiernan can send us away if he chooses.”

  “Didn’t he explain that?” asked Esme.

  Madison gave a quick shake of her head, avoiding the girl’s probing gaze. “How often does he rotate? Is six his usual number?”

  “It depends,” said Cleo. “I’ve been with him for seven years, and I’ve sometimes been his only companion. Other times, he’s had more than six.”

  Her eyes widened, and she looked at her. “How can you stand it for so long?” Shocked gasps accompanied her question, and she groaned. “What I mean is, it’s like being in limbo for seven years. You can’t fall in love with him, but you can’t love anyone else either. Um, I assume that’s a no-no?”

  Cleo grinned. “Can you imagine the commander sharing?”

  No, she definitely couldn’t and shook her head again.

  “As I told you before, honey, I like this lifestyle. I like Tiernan, but I don’t love him. I don’t think anyone could survive as his personal companion if they did fall for him.” She turned sympathetic eyes in Nina’s direction. “Tiernan doesn’t do love and commitment, Madison.”

  “That’s a lesson you need to take to heart,” said Ashandi with an apparent lack of concern. She obviously had no problem with the arrangement either.

  “How long have you been here?” asked Madison.

  “Two years,” said Ashandi.

  “Eight months,” said Layko.

  “Thirteen months,” said Esme.

  Nina seemed disinclined to answer, so Madison was surprised when she grudgingly said, “Three months.”

  It hovered on the tip of her tongue to ask Nina how long the other woman had been in love with Tiernan, but Madison bit back the impulse. It wasn’t her business, and she knew Nina considered her a rival, so there would be no sharing of confidences. She was already the object of the other women’s pity. She wouldn’t want Madison’s too.

  Still, she did feel sorry for the other girl, to be in such an impossible situation. At least Nina had the option of leaving. Somehow, she didn’t think Tiernan had blackmailed and kept as his prisoner any of the other women sitting around the table. They were here because they wanted to be and seemed to be in no hurry to leave. How she wished she could trade places with any of them, except Nina. She’d be out of his mansion so quickly her head would spin. Wouldn’t she?

  Clearing her throat, she asked, “What happens to a companion when Tiernan’s ready for her to move on?”

  Cleo answered. “He makes sure she’s taken care of, which could be a number of things. My friend Heidi has an orchard now, because that was her dream. He gave it to her when he ended their arrangement.”

  “And if it doesn’t end amicably?” she asked, barely restraining the urge to glance at Nina.

  Esme and Cleo traded a look. “I guess it depends on the reason things are bad. Most of the time, the women are just gone.” Esme shrugged. “Who knows what he gives them when it’s over?”

  That was as vague an answer as one could get, she mused. She really wanted to ask them what they thought Tiernan would do if she escaped, but she couldn’t voice the question. None of them were here as his prisoner, and it sounded like he’d never taken a companion before under such circumstances, so they wouldn’t know anyway. Even if they speculated, their ideas weren’t likely to be any different from the consequences she’d tortured herself by imagining the past couple of weeks.

  “May I ask you a question?” asked Ashandi.

  Madison nodded.

  The other girl’s smile held a glint of wickedness. “Exactly how have you managed to keep him in your bed every night for two weeks?”

  “His bed, you mean,” said Nina with a derisive curl of her lip.

  Heat filled Madison’s cheeks. “I don’t know,” she mumbled.

  Esme giggled. “Of course you don’t,” she said with gentle sarcasm.

  Cleo waved a hand. “Ignore them, Madison. You’re under no obligation to share the details of your time with the commander.”

  “Yeah, we’re just envious,” said Layko with a small sigh. “It’s been forever since he sent for me.”

  “Me too,” agreed Ashandi, though she didn’t seem to mind. “I miss the sex, but it’s easier to maintain an emotional distance when you have Tiernan in small doses. Being the sole focus of his attention for so long…” She shuddered. “I’d just about be guaranteed to fall in love with him.”

  Madison’s eyes widened. That was a laughable idea. Of course, she wasn’t his companion by choice. She supposed she could understand how a woman could fall for Tiernan if they wanted to be with him, but that could never happen to her.

  *****

  Tiernan came back to the suite earlier than his usual time that evening. Madison was still mulling over her afternoon tea and contemplating her place in the harem, so she was distracted when he entered.

  He sighed harshly. “I thought you were moving past the silent treatment?”

  She blinked. “Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought.”

  “About what?”

  None of your business. “Nothing important.”

  He made a sound in his throat, but let the subject die. Instead, he handed her a small box. “Open it.”

  She looked at the wooden box, admiring the carved hummingbird. “It’s pretty.”

  “Open it,” he said again. He seemed to be reining in his excitement.

  Was he that eager to be giving her a gift? Vowing to make a big production of whatever was in the box, she flipped the lid with her thumb. A genuine smile curved her lips as she touched the pretty necklace made from gold so shiny that it must have been purified and crafted before The End. The asymmetrical pendant had a pink stone in the middle, and she stroked it with her index finger. “It’s beautiful. What’s that?” She tapped the gem.

  “It’s pink sapphire.” Tiernan knelt down to her level, rubbing his thumb over her lower lip. “The color made me think of your lips just after a long kiss.”

  She leaned forward to offer him one, clutching the box securely in one hand while grasping the front of his military uniform jacket with the other. The kiss left her dizzy, with her pulse racing and body tingling.

  When he pulled back, he said in a soft voice, “It also made me think of your pretty little pussy spread open, waiting for my cock.”

  She blushed, looking away. “Tiernan, you shouldn’t say things like that.”

  He laughed. “Why not? It’s true.”

  Madison shrugged, unable to verbalize her objections—mainly because embarrassment was the only one coming to mind. Still not quite looking at him, she whispered, “Would you like to see it again?”

  Tiernan’s body shook with a hearty laugh, and he scooped her up in his arms so quickly she squealed with surprise. “I’d love to, but it will have to wait.”

  “Oh.” She refused to admit to her own disappointment. “Why?”

  He set her on her feet, though clearly reluctant to do so. “Because we’re dining downstairs tonight. My closest officers and their spouses usually dine with me at least once or twice per month, to keep communication flowing and let them know I’m available.”

  “I see.” She frowned. “Do I have to come?”

  Tiernan titled his head. “Why wouldn’t you?”

  “I don’t really meet the criteria, Tiernan. I’m not an officer or a spouse.”

  He shrugged. “Cleo usually joins us as well. She’s not a soldier, but she’s a close confidant. You won’t be out of place.”

  “And the other companions? Do they join you?” She really didn’t want another dose of Nina’s overt hostility tonight.

  He shook his head. “No.”

  Madison followed him as he walked into the bedroom, apparently planning to freshen up before dinner. She hesitated near the door, so he didn’t think she was trying to distract him. She absolutely refused to look at the big bed or wonder how long it would tak
e them to have just a quick session…

  Clearing her throat, though it did little to banish the erotic images suddenly parading through her mind, she asked, “Why not?”

  He paused in the process of stripping off his jacket. “What?”

  “Why don’t they go if Cleo does?”

  Tiernan finished taking off the jacket and started on the white shirt underneath. “I don’t know. It’s different, I guess. Those girls aren’t close confidants or friends.” He shrugged.

  Madison sighed. “How can they not be? Ashandi’s been with you for two years. How do you sleep with someone for that long and not become friends?”

  He paused, shirt half off his shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess we just didn’t click, personality-wise. She’s a sweet girl, and I enjoy talking to her, but we aren’t close.”

  “But you’re sleeping with her.” The frustration she was feeling had leaked through her tone, and he frowned. “How can you be intimate with someone you aren’t close to?”

  Tiernan took time to remove his shirt completely and reach for a fresh one before answering. “I don’t know how to explain it to you. It’s just sex.”

  “Why did you ask her to be your personal companion then? Why not just a one-time thing?”

  He shrugged, clearly preoccupied with matters he considered far more important than his process for selecting companions. “I don’t remember the details right now, but I must have seen something in her that I wanted for more than one night.”

  For some reason, his answer hurt. Madison decided to drop the subject, because it was leading nowhere and only serving to make her angrier as she learned more about his shallow relationships. He didn’t require love, or friendship, or even respect to sleep with a woman. She knew plenty of people like that of both genders. Hell, her little sister was like that. With the exception of Rosie, she generally didn’t care who did what with whom, but it was different with Tiernan. It irked her that he couldn’t even remember what he’d once found interesting about Ashandi—probably because it indicated there had been so many women over the years that she was just one of the parade.

  Meaning Madison was also one of the parade. He was upsetting her entire life just to indulge his brief passions. How soon before someone else was asking him about how she’d come to be in his life, and he couldn’t remember? Oh, what did it matter? The sooner he lost interest, the faster she could be home. Of course she wasn’t hurt by his callousness, just angry that he could be so selfish for physical needs.

  “You never quite answered my question. I get why Cleo goes, but why me? I’ve been here two weeks. We aren’t friends or confidants. There’s no reason for me to make an appearance.”

  He frowned. “I want you to come. That’s reason enough.” His stern tone signaled he was done with the conversation.

  She wasn’t and wanted to scream at him to stop being such an arrogant ass. Somehow, she restrained the impulse and asked through stiff lips, “What should I wear?”

  He walked over to the section of closet where Cleo had hung a few things, immediately taking out a long pink dress almost the same shade as the sapphire in the necklace she still held in her hand. “This.”

  Doing her best to suppress her simmering anger, she crossed the room to take the dress from him, thinking to herself it would clash with her hair, and then wondering why she’d had that thought. She didn’t care about such things. Right? “How long do I have?”

  “Thirty minutes.”

  She nodded. “I don’t have to wear makeup, do I?”

  He shook his head. “Unless you want to.”

  “No, I don’t know how to put that stuff on.”

  As she walked past him, he snaked an arm around her waist to pull her against him, nibbling on her neck for a second before releasing her. “You look—and taste—better without it.”

  She marveled at how his silly compliment and quick grope could dampen the anger she’d felt just a moment before. Attributing it to just one of the ways the commander was gifted, she went into the bathroom to prepare for a grueling evening. After meeting his entourage this afternoon, the last thing she wanted to do was have to deal with more people in Tiernan’s life that would judge her and surely wonder why she was by his side.

  *****

  With relief, she kicked off her shoes a couple of hours later as soon as Tiernan closed the door behind them. She leaned over to pick them up to convey to the closet and paused there to slip off the dress. Dinner hadn’t been quite as bad as she’d imagined. By the end of the appetizer, she’d no longer felt like a bug under a microscope, though the curious glances had lasted the duration of the meal. Everyone had been polite, if not warm.

  At least Tiernan’s second-in-command had been friendly and welcoming. Captain Aidan Hiller didn’t have a wife or husband, and he’d been seated beside her. He was a handsome man with a neatly trimmed blond beard and goatee, along with stunning green eyes. His charming smile and effortless manner had put her at ease, as had the way he and Tiernan had interacted. The commander had relaxed with his friend, returning ribbing comments with the familiarity of close friends, not leader and subordinate.

  Seeing Tiernan with his friends had been an eye-opening experience. She’d seen the tender lover in him, along with the ruthless side, but she had yet to make him just lean back in his chair and look content. It sent a hollow pang through her chest to know he didn’t see her that way. Could he ever? After all, he was friends with Cleo. Could they become friends?

  Should they? Wouldn’t it just complicate an already complex situation if they cared for each other outside the bedroom? God forbid it made her do something stupid, like fall in love with him. It was much safer to keep their interactions sexual and avoid friendship.

  Having made her decision, she still found herself asking him the kinds of questions that led to knowing each other more than an hour later, as they lay in bed entwined together, spent from lovemaking.

  “What were you like as a boy?”

  He stirred. “Hmm. I was an angel.”

  She raked her nails lightly over his abs. “Sure.”

  Tiernan laughed a little. “I was stubborn and wild, always determined to have things my own way.”

  It hovered on the tip of her tongue to comment that nothing had changed, but she held back the snark. “I see.”

  “It drove my mother crazy.” He began twining a strand of her hair around his index finger. “She was trying to raise me to be responsible and disciplined, so I could assume leadership one day.”

  “That wasn’t you?”

  “Not then.” He shifted slightly, so her head rested more on his pectoral muscle. “It took her a long time to mold me. I had to be ready to accept the burden first.”

  She made a small sound, not sure how to reply. “What about your dad?”

  Tiernan shrugged, almost dislodging her. “Sorry.” He unwrapped the hair around his finger and began stretching it out slowly. “I don’t know. I don’t remember him.”

  “He died when you were young?”

  “No. My mother grew tired of him before I had a chance to form memories.” He sounded unconcerned.

  Madison winced. “That’s harsh. What, she just sent her husband away?”

  He chuckled. “He was just a companion to my mother. She never married or selected a partner.”

  She frowned. “Why not?”

  He turned a bit, and she ended up lying against him chest to chest, her gaze on his face. “I guess she never had the time or inclination. Personal companions filled her needs, including providing one heir. It was an ideal solution.”

  With a scowl, she shook her head. “How was it ideal when you never got to know your father?”

  Tiernan’s lips curled into a small frown. “It didn’t matter.”

  “How can you say that? I can’t imagine not knowing my papa. You missed everything. He missed everything. It wasn’t right.” Tears scalded her eyes as her mind conjured an image of a tiny, fatherless Tiernan
with only a cold, regimented mother to parent him.

  Tiernan patted her back. “Shush, it’s okay. You don’t need to get upset on my behalf. I turned out just fine.”

  Except you’re a man-whore with commitment issues, she wanted to scream. Instead, she swallowed to regain control. “And you’ve never tried to find him, even as an adult?”

  He hesitated, his gaze flickering slightly before he said, “I looked for him once, but he had already died. I think he had another family.”

  She couldn’t help stroking his hip in silent sympathy. “I’m sorry. Do you have siblings?”