An Unyielding Desire (After The End Book 2) Read online

  Except she knew that wasn’t the entirety of the matter. Mina knew she didn’t love Shane, but she definitely didn’t hate him any longer either. Sex and emotion had gotten all twisted up inside her, leaving her a muddled mess. She no longer knew how she felt, or even how she should feel. Had he really changed enough that she could consider forgiving him and maybe being happy with their arrangement? It was improbable to fathom doing so, but not impossible. Not even as unthinkable as it would have been weeks ago, let alone that first day in the chicken coop.

  How could she adapt to a future with a brutal rapist? Were any of Shane’s new behaviors true changes, or were they simply a reward given to her for her compliance in acquiescing to his demands? It hurt her head trying to figure it out. She closed her eyes, trying to chase the elusive sleep that had been so close just moments before. Shane had already started snoring softly, and she envied the easy rest of someone who knew exactly what they wanted and didn’t hesitate to pursue it. She might have been envious of his confidence if she hadn’t detested the methods he used to obtain what he desired.

  *****

  Three mornings later, all hell broke loose in the kitchen. Mina had just come downstairs and was about to brew her morning cup of contraceptive tea when Lia stomped in. At first, she assumed her sister was after her again and prepared herself for the coming confrontation. To her surprise, she marched straight past Mina to Emme.

  Mina watched with interest as Lia shoved a plastic stick at Emme. “Look at this! How the hell did this happen, Emme?”

  Mina realized it was a pregnancy test, and her stomach dropped at the implication. Emme’s contraceptive tea had failed her sister.

  Emme looked annoyed. “It’s herbal contraceptive, not birth control pills, Lia. You always have a higher chance of getting pregnant when you rely on natural instead of chemical methods.”

  Lia shook her head. “No, you screwed up the last batch. It tastes different. You did something wrong.”

  Mina looked at the tea she had just put in her cup, realizing it was a darker color. It didn’t taste as bitter either.

  Emme frowned as she came over to lift the lid off the canister. Scooping up a handful of herbs, she sifted through them with her fingers, her scowl deepening. When she put the herbs on her tongue, she looked angry. “This is just mint.”

  “What?” asked Mina. “What does that mean?”

  “Mint is only one of the herbs I put in here. It has mild birth control properties, but isn’t the powerhouse that pennyroyal is. There’s no pennyroyal or ginger at all.” Emme looked upset and confused. “It’s like someone dumped the tea I made and just put in mint leaves.” Without another word, she went upstairs, returning a few minutes later looking even more upset. “I’m almost out of mint. I had a big bag that I dried at the end of summer, but it’s nearly gone.”

  “You’re saying someone sabotaged our contraceptive tea?” asked Lia.

  Emme shrugged. “It sounds crazy, but yes, that appears to be what happened.”

  Anger welled in Mina. “That bastard.”

  Emme touched her shoulder. “What?”

  “He found out. Somehow, he discovered I was thwarting his demands for a baby, and he switched the tea.” Panic pushed up inside her, and she frantically calculated where she was in her cycle. Her stomach dipped when she realized she was at her most fertile—and had been last night when he’d taken her so gently, followed by his confession of love. Love. What a load of crap. He didn’t love her if he could force her to have a baby she didn’t want. He hadn’t changed at all. She was still only a means to an end for him.

  Emme looked confused, and Lia just look enraged. “This is your fault.”

  “Yours,” Mina responded heatedly. “If you weren’t a lying, cheating whore, he wouldn’t have looked twice at me. He already told me that. It’s your fault I’m mixed up in the mess.”

  Emme was obviously bewildered. “What are you two talking about? Who?”

  “Shane,” Mina and Lia said simultaneously.

  “She’s been fucking him for who knows how long,” said Lia, with an air of telling on her sibling.

  “After you fucked him first and had his child.” Mina whirled away from Lia. “Let’s stop. This isn’t productive. We have to figure out what to do.”

  “I don’t want it,” said Lia. “I love Tony and Ty, but the idea of having another baby in the current world isn’t something I want.”

  Emme bit her lip, nodding. “I understand that, but you also need to know herbs can be imprecise. They might or might not work. They can be dangerous. Sometimes, you bleed too much. Other times, you might have an incomplete miscarriage, which can lead to septicemia. That’s practically a death sentence in the current conditions, without easy access to full-spectrum antibiotics.”

  Lia’s mouth curved into a stubborn line. “I don’t care. I’m willing to risk it.”

  Mina shook her head when Emme glanced at her, already knowing she wasn’t willing to risk her life to avoid having a child. There might not even be a child, though the odds were high.

  Feeling trapped, she shrugged on her jacket and ran out of the house. Snow had fallen overnight, and it slowed her a bit, but didn’t stop her from jogging. Mina wanted to outrun everything, and her feet carried her toward the stable. She was half-cocked to jump on Lady and ride away when she entered the stable. Mina drew to a halt at the sight of Coop shoveling manure, bare from the waist up even in the cold weather.

  He looked up, his expression changing to one of displeasure at the sight of her. “You’d better run along, Mina. You don’t want to give me the wrong idea.”

  A glimmer of hope came to her. Panic was clouding her logical thinking, and she couldn’t sort out all the reasons why she shouldn’t follow her first impulse. She ignored his words and walked nearer, seeing his eyes widen, and the way he gulped, when she stopped close to him. “Coop, if I asked you for something, would you do it? No questions asked?”

  He swallowed again. “Maybe. Depends on what you asked.”

  Her hands shook as she slipped off her coat. “Would you have sex with me right now?”

  His eyes went big with his surprise. “That’s a pretty big fucking request, since you told me to take a hike weeks ago.”

  “Please.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  Mina shook her head. “I can’t explain. I can’t tell you what’s going on, or even promise more than just the next hour or two in your arms. If you can’t live with that, I understand.”

  He dropped the shovel, his hands clamping around her arms. “You’re the most frustrating woman I’ve ever met. Come closer, run away, come closer…fuck, Mina. What do you expect from me?”

  “More than I should.” She licked her lips, conscious of his eyes following her tongue. “I know what I’m asking. I know it isn’t fair, but I’m not taking it back. Do you want to have sex?”

  “No, but I want to make love.” He pulled her closer, his mouth devouring hers in a deep kiss. Mina responded with equal fervor after a moment’s hesitation. For just a second, she had seen Shane’s face in the back of her mind, and it had made her shiver with fear. If he found out what she was doing, she knew he would go crazy. She and Coop would both be in danger. She pushed aside her fear, determined to have this moment with Coop, and to at least introduce the possibility of Shane not fathering her child if she was pregnant.

  Her conscience twinged at using the man holding her that way, but she ignored the uncomfortable ping and focused on touching Coop. It was cold in the stables, and he took time to spread a horse blanket on a pile of hay before they lay down. Mina’s hands shook as she fumbled with his belt buckle and zipper. His hands were strong and steady as he pushed up her sweater and removed her bra.

  Mina gasped quietly when he cupped her breasts, his palms rubbing against her nipples with enough pressure to make her back arch. “I want you so much,” she whispered, before kissing him again. She kept the kiss long and slow, punctua
ted by her moans as he tugged her nipples lightly before massaging them with small circles of his palms.

  “Me too. I’ve been dying for this, Mina.” Coop moved his mouth to nibble down her neck, finding the spot that always made her head spin with pleasure, and she buried her hand in his hair to pull him closer. Only the possibility of him leaving a hickey that Shane would see later had her diverting his head, bringing his mouth back to hers.

  Soon enough, he strayed again, this time his mouth seeking her breasts. Mina arched her back to allow freer access as he dipped his head to taste her. His tongue teased her rigid peak, hardening it almost to the point of pain. He kept the other breast cradled in his hand, still rubbing the nipple in concert with the motion of his mouth.

  Mina let her hands glide over the muscles of his chest and back, loving the sensation of his smooth skin under her slightly calloused fingertips. “You feel better than I imagined.”

  He lifted his head from her breast. “Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed about this, fantasized that I’d get to taste and touch you?”

  She nodded, but couldn’t reply. What could she say? Since realizing just how much she wanted him, she had entertained similar fantasies late in the night, augmented by already knowing how his solid body felt pressed against hers while they slept. Mina had longed for Coop, but had been sure she would never have him. Already, she knew once wouldn’t be enough, but this was all they would have.

  They removed their pants with each other’s assistance, and Mina grasped his shaft, exploring the length and texture. For a second, she trembled as images assaulted her, fear making her mouth dry. Looking up at Coop, who seemed so patient and gentle, just waiting for her to decide what happened next—which was completely new and different for her—gave her enough strength to overcome the flashbacks.

  She stroked him until his cock was tightening in her hand. At that point, Mina withdrew her touch and leaned back, parting her thighs in invitation. She was ready for him, but he drew out the torture by sprawling between her legs. Coop kissed a trail up her left thigh, skipping over the liquid core of her, and down the right thigh. As his head angled up again, Mina caught hold of his hair, trapping his face against her heat.

  Coop laughed, the vibrations transmitting into her center. “You really want my mouth here, don’t you, honey?”

  “Please.” She arched her hips, brushing her lips against his.

  His tongue was soft and flirty as he traced the puffy outer lips before dipping in to taste her nectar. He made a sound of pleasure that suggested he found her delicious, as did the wide swath the broadside of his tongue painted through her slit. Mina twisted her hips in response, dragging her clit across his swiping tongue. He soon homed in on the little nub, licking and sucking alternately in a random pattern that left her teetering on the edge of release.

  She sobbed with frustration when he withdrew his mouth, not sure she could endure the few seconds it took him to slide up her body and angle his erection against her opening. Mina wrapped her legs around his thighs, urging him to sink deeply inside her. He slipped in and out with small, teasing lunges that had her growling with annoyance. “Take me, Coop.”

  Still, he teased her with the shallow thrusts until Mina clenched his buttocks in her hands and forced him down, driving his cock deep inside her. She held him like that for a long moment, eyes closed and breath trapped in her throat. It was amazing. The best thing she’d ever felt, she decided, though quickly revised that opinion when he began thrusting in and out of her with long, slow thrusts that bottomed out deep inside her.

  When Coop gradually increased the pace, she matched him effortlessly, wanting everything he gave her and more. The harder and deeper he pushed into her, the closer she came to orgasm. When his thumb caressed her clitoris as he sank inside her again, she lost control and slipped over the edge. The climax had her shaking and crying out, though she was still marginally aware of Coop trying to withdraw before he came.

  “Inside me,” she said, panting. “It’s safe.”

  He hesitated for a second, and she tightened her grip on his ass, drawing him closer. With a soft sigh that sounded like surrender, his cock twitched, and hot fluid filled her a second later.

  Afterward, she lay under him, listening to his heart slowing to a normal rate. It was a perfect moment, and she wished they could stay there forever. Soon enough, she’d have to get up and slip away before they were discovered.

  “Can you please tell me what’s going on with you, Mina?”

  She closed her eyes, her heart breaking at the sad plea. Shaking her head, she pulled him closer, clinging tightly to him. It was unlikely they would ever have this chance again, and she wanted every minute to count.

  Chapter Nine

  Shane fidgeted nervously, feeling like he had the first time he’d ever picked up a girl on a date and had to meet her father. Making a good impression on fathers was a daunting task whether he was fifteen or thirty-three. Winn’s blue eyes, so like his daughters’, seemed to be picking him apart and finding all his flaws, and he hadn’t even started speaking yet.

  “What did you want to talk about, son?” asked Winn.

  He liked hearing that endearment, though he knew it was just a casual term. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  Winn nodded, eyeing him from his recliner. They were in the living room, amazingly having found a quiet area with no one else around, for at least a bit. “So you said while ago. So far, I’m not hearing much talking, Shane.”

  He ran a hand through his hair, wincing at the length. He should have cut it before initiating this conversation, to make a better impression. “First, I have to tell you something that I hope won’t make you too angry.”

  Winn nodded, as though providing encouragement. His impassive gaze made it difficult to discern if he truly was.

  “I’m in love with Mina.”

  His eyes widened, and he frowned. “My baby? My nineteen-year-old baby? Is that the Mina you’re referring to?”

  Shane couldn’t help letting his gaze slide to the shotgun beside Winn’s chair, within easy reach. Perspiration beaded on his forehead. “Yes, sir.”

  “How old are you, West?”

  The last name. That wasn’t a good sign. “I’m thirty-three, sir, but I’d like you to give me a chance to explain why that isn’t important.”

  With pursed lips, Winn nodded. “Well, go on then.”

  “Things are different now. Age isn’t so important. Either one of us could be dead tomorrow, but I’d die to protect her. I’ll take care of her. It’s better to have a man with some experience being responsible for your daughter’s safety than a kid her age without a clue.”

  Winn’s brows furrowed, making it difficult to tell if he agreed. “That’s still a big age gap, Shane.”

  Progress, since he was no longer West. “Yes, I know. I can’t apologize for loving her, or being born fourteen years before her, but I swear I’ll take care of her.”

  “As you said. What is it you want from me, Shane?”

  He sighed. “I’d like your blessing to marry her.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Exactly how long has this relationship been going on?”

  “About three months.”

  Winn scowled. “You want me to believe you have honorable intentions when you’ve been acting dishonorably for all that time? Why sneak and hide?”

  Shane scrubbed his face with his hand. “The truth is we had a rocky start. There were a lot of arguments, and I didn’t know if it would work out. It’s only been recently that I’m sure she’s the one. I’ve been trying to persuade her to admit to our relationship for a while now, but she’s resisted. I think she’s afraid of your disapproval.”

  “And are you afraid of it, son? If I tell you to leave Mina alone, will you respect me?”

  Shane’s mouth went dry. Finally, he had to be honest. “No, sir. I love her too much to walk away. Your blessing is important to me, but she’s more important.” To his surp
rise, Mina’s father smiled slowly.

  “That was a good answer, son. It shows me you’ll fight for her.” He rubbed the stubbly hair on his chin. “I guess I have no objection. If you’re what Mina wants, and you’ll take care of her as you promise, that’s the important thing. You just make sure you watch out for her and any children you have.”

  “Yes, sir.” Shane couldn’t hold in a broad smile, but didn’t share his secret source of happiness with Winn. He knew it shouldn’t be too long now until she got pregnant, since he’d gotten rid of that tea. “I want her to have my babies, sir, and I’ll take care of them. Family is very important to me.”

  “What about your family? You never mention them.”

  Shane shrugged. “I have none to mention. My parents died when I was five. I took it hard and was not an easy child, making for a difficult situation. Lots of foster homes and no permanent placements. Having missed out on a familial connection, I always knew I’d want a large family with the woman I loved.”

  Winn held out his hand. “You can consider us family, son.”

  Moisture clogged his throat, necessitating he clear it before he could speak. Shane took the proffered hand. “Thank you, Mr. Marsden. You have no idea what that means to me.”

  “If you’re going to be my son-in-law, you can call me Winn.” His eyes narrowed with warning. “None of that Dad nonsense though. I’m only forty-five.”

  “Yes, sir.” Shane was suddenly impatient to find Mina. “I’m going to ask her tonight, and we’ll make an announcement soon. Until then, would you mind keeping this quiet?”

  Winn waved a hand. “I’ll have to tell Janie, of course. Take my advice and never hide anything from your wife if you want the marriage to last. Women tend to regard dishonesty and sneakiness as a deal breaker.”