An Unyielding Desire (After The End Book 2) Read online

  “He’s adorable,” said Chelle.

  Mina nodded. “This is Lady’s first foal. She never kindled before, though she’s eighteen.”

  “That sounds old to have a baby.”

  “It’s a bit more uncommon when you’re a horse, especially for the first foal, but not impossible.” She shuddered. “It’s way too young when you’re a human.”

  “That’s true, though your sister Kelly seems to think everyone will naturally start having babies at younger ages again, and that adolescence will tend to be a disregarded notion within a generation or two.”

  Mina smiled. “I’m sure she’s given it a lot of thought and can back up why she thinks that, but I hope she’s wrong. I don’t want teenagers to be adults. Finn is only fifteen. I’d have a hard time seeing him managing an adult role.”

  “Perhaps, but I think we’ll all grow up a lot faster now.” She sighed. “Before The End, I was still feeling like a young, carefree twenty-four-year-old with my whole life ahead of me. I actually broke up with a sweet guy before deployment, because I didn’t want the hassle of a long-distance relationship and knew there’d be another guy when I got back.” She sighed. “Is it just me, or all the guys gone now?”

  “I wish,” said Mina softly. At Chelle’s arched brow, she shrugged. “I wish I had a sweet guy,” she amended.

  Chelle shoved back her curls carelessly. “You could have Coop in a heartbeat, Mina. All you have to do is ask. That boy has it bad for you.”

  She gave her friend a sickly smile, but didn’t reply. Hearing that didn’t make her feel better about breaking his heart, despite the reasons.

  *****

  Unfortunately, the chance to break his heart, and hers, came later that evening. He cornered her after dinner, as she washed dishes, by volunteering to assist. She was conscious of Shane’s warning look as he left the kitchen, and she knew what she had to do. They worked in silence until the last dish was put away. She sighed softly when he reached for her hand as she withdrew it from the knife block after putting away the knives.

  “I was really worried about you.”

  She smiled, softening inside, but not allowing it to show in her expression. “I’m better now. I was worried about you too. Emme said you had some broken ribs.”

  “Just bruised, thankfully. Well, as far as she could tell without x-rays.”

  “Are you all better now?”

  He shrugged. “Mostly. I’m still sore and will be for a couple of weeks, and breathing is painful sometimes, but I’ll live.” Leaning closer, dropping his voice, he said, “Just be gentle if you come to my bed tonight. Jostling hurts.”

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath for strength before opening them. Lifting her head, she gave him a sad look. “I won’t be doing that anymore, Coop.”

  He frowned. “Why not? Look, if the kiss scared you, we’ll slow down.”

  She gave a harsh laugh. “We’ve been moving at a snail’s pace as it is.” Mina sighed. “I just can’t…nothing can happen between us. I’ve given you the wrong idea.”

  He scowled. “You’ve given me the idea that we’re friends slowly becoming something more. How is that the wrong impression?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t give you more. I don’t have the option.”

  Coop seemed confused. “What do you mean? I’ll wait until you feel ready for more.”

  “I can’t explain. Just don’t wait for me, Coop. You deserve so much more than that. I can’t give you what you want.”

  “I don’t believe that. I know you’ll get over this someday.”

  She whirled around. “If I don’t? You’ve wasted your life waiting on someone who can’t give you anything.”

  “I lo—”

  Mina shook her head. “No. Don’t say that. Don’t think it or feel it. Just forget about me before you get hurt, Coop.” Without waiting for a reply, she hurried from the kitchen, colliding with Shane, who had been eavesdropping. He gave her a pleased nod, and she scowled in return, shoving past him and running to her room. The slamming door provided some satisfaction, though she imagined he’d make her pay for her disrespect later.

  *****

  Mina was surprised by how gentle Shane was with her over the next couple of weeks. At first, she assumed it was because she was recovering from the illness, but even after the last of the fever and cough had departed, he still seemed more considerate than usual. He was also staying later in the mornings, though it made her uncomfortable.

  “It’s almost dawn.” She poked him with her elbow, and he roused slightly. At his questioning mutter, she said, “You have to leave before everyone starts waking up.”

  He grumbled and tried to pull her closer. “Let’s sleep in.”

  “It’s Thanksgiving. My mom and sisters will be up earlier than usual to get started on everything.” She tried to slide from bed, but he pulled her back against him. “They’re expecting me down there too. If I don’t join them, one of my sisters will come looking for me.”

  “So let ‘em,” he said without concern.

  She narrowed her eyes. “Are you trying to get caught?”

  “Caught implies we’re doing something wrong.” He folded her hand in his. “I’m tired of sneaking around.”

  Her heart plummeted into her stomach. “You can’t think we’re going to tell my parents that I’m your sex slave?”

  He grimaced. “That’s so overly dramatic. Our relationship started a bit nontraditionally, but we’re past that. It’s time to admit it to your parents and your family.”

  She glared at him. “Are you going to admit that you’re the one who raped me in the chicken coop and hurt me so badly? Are you planning to confess that you’ve left me no choice about being your bedmate? Is that what you think my family wants to know?”

  Shane scowled. “Dammit, Mina, why can’t you just let that go?”

  “Because I’m still living the nightmare. You can fool yourself all you want that our arrangement is consensual, but you know in your heart that I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t forced me to in order to protect Ty.”

  He arched a brow. “I see you left out Lia.”

  She clenched her teeth. “Lia is an adult. She can take care of her own damn self.”

  Shane rubbed her left ring finger in a way that bothered her. “If it makes you feel better, I no longer have the urge to stab her through the heart.”

  She slanted him a look. “Yeah, it’s reassuring to know the man taking control of my body isn’t quite so homicidal these days.”

  He laughed. “If I were that threatening or scary, you wouldn’t be so mouthy, baby girl.” His expression softened. “I’ve spent some time thinking about what you said, and I realized you had some valid points. I’ve been stifling what you want to say and disregarding your opinions. I’m making an effort not to do that. I don’t want you to feel trapped with me.”

  She turned slightly to face him, surprised by his words. “Does that mean you’ll leave my room and never come back if I ask you to?”

  His expression closed. “No. I’m not that tolerant, Mina. You belong to me.”

  “Blah, blah, blah…”

  Shane rolled his eyes, but his smile was warm. “I belong to you too. Command me as you will.”

  She sniffed at him, showing her disbelief. “In that case, get your clothes on and get out of my room before one of my sisters sees you.”

  He sighed. “Fine, I surrender. Besides, having them discover us naked isn’t the best way to win your family’s approval, or your dad’s blessing.”

  Her heart stuttered. “Blessing for what?”

  He lifted a shoulder. “Just talking aloud, baby girl.” After dressing, he bent down to kiss her forehead. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

  Mina waited until he’d left before getting out of bed to wash with the basin and get dressed. She had just slipped on a sweater when the door opened quietly again. With a groan, she said, “I told you to leave.” Expecting to have to shoo Shane
from her room, she was surprised to see Lia standing there instead, with a massive scowl distorting her pretty face. “What do you want?”

  Lia closed the door with an ominous click. “I saw him leaving your room.”

  Mina’s stomach churned with nausea, but she didn’t allow herself to react visibly.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Mina? Shane is thirty-three and much too old for you.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “He didn’t leave me much choice, Lia.”

  Lia’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that I’m paying back the debt you owe.”

  Her sister’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m going to say this once. End it with him before you get hurt.”

  “It’s a bit too late for that,” Mina hissed. “If you had never started it with him, I wouldn’t be in this mess.”

  Lia’s cheeks turned red, but she didn’t bat an eye. “Whatever he told you is a lie. I would never cheat on Tony.”

  “Nice try, but I’ve seen Ty’s toes—and Shane’s, for that matter.” When Lia flinched, she pressed on, “You took away his son, so he came to me for revenge.”

  Lia rolled her eyes. “If that’s true, how can you stand to let yourself be used like that?”

  Mina sighed. “Do you think I had a choice? He was enraged and didn’t take no for an answer. However, he did threaten to kill you and take Tyler.”

  Lia paled. “You mean he was the one…?”

  “Who raped me? Yeah, that was Shane. That’s been Shane almost every day since then.” Mina turned away from her sister to head toward the door. “Mom’s expecting us downstairs.” When her sister tried to touch her arm, she shrugged her off.

  “Mina, you don’t understand.”

  She glared at her. “I don’t want to. I don’t know how you cheated on Tony, the man who’s supposed to be the love of your life. I don’t care how you got into this mess. All I care about is getting myself out of it.” There was a slight edge of hysteria to her voice when she added, “I think that crazy bastard is planning to announce our relationship to the family. I’ll never escape.” Tears welled, but she forced them back.

  “You can’t do this, Mina. You can’t be with him.”

  Mina scowled. “You still seem to think I want to.”

  Lia gave her an assessing look. “Who wouldn’t want to be with Shane? He’s attractive and great in bed.”

  Mina glanced away from her doubting gaze. “Fuck you, Lia. Believe me or don’t. It doesn’t matter to me. There’s nothing you can do anyway, unless you’re willing to tell Tony the truth and let Shane have a part in his son’s life.”

  Lia grasped Mina’s arms, shoving her roughly against the door. “You don’t breathe a word of that, or I’ll kill you myself. It was a mistake. I just wanted to have some fun with someone who found me irresistible. I’d never been with anyone besides Tony, and I was curious.”

  “Your curiosity has fucked us both,” said Mina, shoving against her sister, trying to break her hold.

  “You’ll ruin everything if you say anything about Ty’s parentage. Keep your mouth shut and do whatever Shane tells you.”

  Mina narrowed her eyes. “I thought you didn’t believe he was coercing me?”

  Lia shrugged. “I don’t much care either way, as long as you don’t destroy my family.”

  “I never realized what a selfish bitch you are before, Lia.” She gasped when her sister slapped her across the face. Dana’s lessons kicked in, and she punched Lia in return. They were soon screaming at each other and scuffling, not breaking apart until their father pushed open the door.

  Winn stared at them in openmouthed shock. “What in the world?”

  Mina shoved Lia away. “Get out of my room and stay away from me.”

  “You just remember what I said.”

  “Don’t threaten me,” said Mina quietly. “You’re the one in the precarious position here.”

  Their father crossed his arms. “Whatever is going on, you two need to stop this silliness and make up.”

  “Sorry, Dad, but we’re not little girls anymore.” Mina angled past her father. “I have no interest in making up with that slut.”

  “Lying whore,” Lia screamed behind her down the hall.

  Mina went to the kitchen, ignoring the gasps of surprise from her mom and Kelly. She took the towel Emme handed her wordlessly, pressing it to the scratch extending down her cheek. She was going to have a split lip, but she was satisfied to know she’d likely given Lia a black eye.

  “You want to talk about it?” asked Emme.

  Mina shook her head. “Not right now.” How she’d love to pour out everything for Emme over a cup of tea, but she wasn’t entirely sure yet that she wanted to lay bare the whole situation. At least the argument with Lia had freed her from any responsibility for her sister’s welfare. Shane could still use Ty and the rest of her family against her, but she didn’t give a damn what he did to Lia.

  Chapter Eight

  Thanksgiving dinner was a feast, though they knew they would have to carefully ration the rest of their stores, except for Christmas dinner. Coop and Chelle had managed to find two wild turkeys, and they augmented those with a leg of goat and a couple of chickens. It was a bounty, but the meal itself was uncomfortable. Mina was aware of Lia glaring at her from time to time, and while she did her best to ignore her, it was impossible not to return some glowers of her own upon occasion.

  Emme and Coop had traded places a couple of weeks ago, after Mina rejected him, so she was aware of her sister’s disapproving tongue clicks each time she and Lia locked gazes. Shane looked angry. It was likely he’d heard about the fight by now, though no one knew the full details aside from her and Lia. She didn’t know if he was going to be sympathetic, apathetic, or angry when he grilled her for answers. At that moment, she didn’t really care.

  Halfway through the meal, Lia excused herself from the table. Tony stood up, tossed down his napkin, and glared at Mina. “Look what you’ve done. She’s so upset she can’t even eat.”

  “Boo hoo,” said Mina.

  “What is wrong with you? How could you attack your sister?” Tony scowled. “Just because some animal hurt you doesn’t give you the right to start acting the same way.”

  Mina’s mouth dropped open, and the room got quiet. “Your slut wife hit me first, Tony. Maybe she’s not the angel you think she is.”

  “She tells me a different story. She was trying to protect you from a huge mistake, and you yelled at her before hitting her.” His gaze slid briefly to Shane. “I told her she should talk to your parents.”

  “Enough.” Janie’s booming voice made everyone flinch. “I’ll not have our holiday meal ruined this way. You all sit down, shut up, and eat.”

  “Sorry, ma’am, but I’ve lost my appetite.” Tony walked away from the table, clearly intent on checking on Lia.

  Mina was starting to feel about two inches high. Lia had provoked her response, but it was immature to hit her back, just as it was immature to sit screaming at the table with her family surrounding her. “Excuse me.” She pushed away from the table. “I’m not feeling well either.” Without waiting for a reply, she left the table, escaping to her room. She caught Coop’s gaze on the way out of the room, and it hurt when he looked away without a shred of emotion. Knowing she had told him not to wait for her didn’t help her feel any better about losing his support and friendship.

  *****

  Shane slipped into her room earlier than usual, and she was actually mildly comforted by his presence, especially when he pulled her into a tight embrace and didn’t push for an explanation. Finally, after several minutes, he asked, “What was that all about at dinner?”

  “Lia saw you leave my room this morning. It escalated to fisticuffs,” she said with a slight attempt at humor.

  His hands tightened on her arms. “Do you want me to talk to her?”

  Min
a shook her head. “No. I can fight my own battles.”

  “I like fighting for you. It’s my job to take care of you.” He pulled her gently onto her back so he could lean over her. His expression was serious when he said, “I’ll always take care of you and our kids.”

  Mina felt a niggle of guilt. She still didn’t want to give him a child, but she was starting to feel bad about deceiving him that it was a possibility every month. Mina had no intention of stopping her contraceptive tea, but she was actually toying with the idea of confessing to him that she didn’t want a baby right now. She couldn’t imagine ever wanting one with Shane, but she could just omit that part.

  She didn’t resist when he straddled her, leaning down to kiss her. Her body responded in a familiar way, and a lot of the emotional angst had faded over the months. Sex wasn’t something she anticipated with him, but she could endure it now, and even enjoy the physical aspects more often than not. It worried her to feel that way, to know she had accepted her circumstances instead of continuing to resist. Mina knew she’d allowed herself to be conditioned, and that the woman she’d once been was horrified by what she’d let him mold her into, but it was easier not to fight.

  The notion of spending the rest of her life this way still terrified her, and she took that as an encouraging sign. If and when she gave in without protest to that thought, it would be time to panic. If she was still capable of doing so by then.

  After they were spent, Shane pulled her against him, trapping her to his body with an arm over her waist and a leg over her thighs. It was familiar, if a bit suffocating, and she had learned to adapt to the way he liked to sleep. The day had left her drained, and she found sleep coming easily, where many nights she lay trapped in his arms, wrestling with her inner demons.

  Mina had almost slipped over the edge when he kissed her forehead and whispered, “I love you, Mina.”

  “Love you too,” she said softly, too tired to open her eyes. As she sank deeper toward sleep, what she’d said penetrated her brain, and her eyes snapped open. Her heart surged in her chest, and panic made her shudder. It had to be cultural conditioning that had prompted her reply. It was automatic. Someone said they loved you, and you said it in return. It started as babies, when parents encouraged offspring to say, “Love you,” so she couldn’t be faulted for uttering the typical response.