An Unyielding Desire (After The End Book 2) Read online

  In the stable, she went to Lady’s stall. Since the horse was due to foal any day, she couldn’t risk taking her out. Mina knew she couldn’t risk leaving anyway. Who knew what Shane would do to her family if she did? And what would she find out in the world in its current state? The possibility of multiple gang rapes per day from different men was all too likely. As loathsome as she found Shane, at least he was the devil she knew.

  She was unsurprised when he came into the stable, her coat in hand. From anyone else, she would have found the gesture solicitous when he held it for her to slip on. With him, it felt suffocating.

  “What’s going on, Mina?”

  “I wish people would stop asking me that.” She glared at him. “You know exactly what’s going on. You’re turning me into a neurotic mess.”

  He looked hurt. “I just want to take care of you.”

  She snorted. “Your care is driving me over the edge.” Mina tried to turn away from him as he drew her closer, tugging her over to a clean pile of straw. “See, like this. I don’t want you to hold me, but you just do what you want.”

  Shane frowned, clearly upset. “I thought we were past all this. You’ve been so sweet with me the last month. You welcome me every night.”

  She hunched her shoulders. “What choice do you give me, Shane?”

  He pushed the hair that had grown to her shoulders off to the side, so he could nibble on the spot at her neck that always made her react, though she didn’t want to. “Baby girl, this is silly. We’re happy. Just let go of all the bad stuff that happened between us in the beginning.”

  “It’s never stopped,” she whispered.

  He took a fistful of her hair to pull her head backward. Mina lay in his arms, looking up at him, and he didn’t loosen his hold. “This isn’t bad. I refuse to believe it is. You want me. I can have you wet and aching for me in seconds.”

  “It’s just physical.” She winced when he tugged her hair.

  “That’s bullshit. I know you care for me as much as I do you.”

  Her eyes widened. “You care about me? Now that’s bullshit, Shane. You don’t know me. You might think you care, but the person I am around you is who you force me to be. I’m scared to tell you no or refuse to do whatever you tell me to.”

  His complexion paled. “Why are you being so cruel?”

  “Why are you?” Tears suddenly sprang to her eyes. “Do you know what it’s like to have someone you hate manipulating your body to do whatever he wants? I’d rather you hurt me and force me than treat me gently. It’s so much worse when you’re tender.”

  Shane put his arms around her, drawing her against his chest. “Shh, baby girl, you’re just upset. You feel hot. I think you might be coming down with something. Just rest and forget all this nastiness.”

  Her tears came faster. She’d known she couldn’t get through to him, so why was she so disappointed that he hadn’t really listened to anything she said? Shane hadn’t magically changed, despite the tenderness he showed her now. He was still a brutal man, who would do whatever he considered necessary to get what he wanted. If she didn’t comply with what he expected, he wouldn’t hesitate to show her that side again.

  “And you don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” she asked in a wet voice.

  He kissed the top of her head. “You don’t hate me. You might wish you did, but you don’t.”

  Mina closed her eyes, sagging with defeat. He was right, as much as she hated to admit it. Shane had tied her into knots and twisted her into a ghost of her former self. The person she was with him didn’t hate him. It wasn’t so easy to sort out anything at this point. She vaguely remembered hearing about Stockholm Syndrome and thought it might be an apt description for what was happening to her. He had manipulated her to the point where she couldn’t hate him, but it would be a cold day in hell before she’d be happy that he’d forced her into this mockery of a relationship.

  She let her eyes close, really not feeling well and not having the energy to pull away from Shane. Instead, she accepted the comfort he offered, though she knew it was an illusion. As her eyes started to close, he once again proved he couldn’t truly be trusted.

  “I want you to stay away from Cooper Tidwell.”

  Her eyes snapped open, and she lifted her head. “Coop is just a friend.” That wasn’t completely true, but it was all she could let him be.

  Shane’s mouth curled on one side. “Baby girl, he wants you. Coop is my friend. I respect him, and he’s saved my ass a couple of times, so I’m willing to overlook his desire for you. However, I won’t be so generous if you’re encouraging him.” His hand tightened around her wrist, the same one he’d broken two months ago. It was still tender from time to time, and she winced at the flash of pain. “You know how I feel about cheating.”

  “You were all for it when it was with my married sister.” For the first time in weeks, Shane lifted his hand to slap her. She braced for the blow, and then looked at him with surprise when it didn’t come.

  Instead, he tapped her cheek. “Stop pushing my buttons, baby girl. I don’t know why you want to argue today, but I don’t feel like indulging it. I just want to hold you for a while.”

  She subsided into silence, not offering refutation when he said, “Just remember you’re mine, and I won’t have any need to defend what belongs to me. I don’t want to hurt Coop.”

  Neither did she. Hurting Coop was unthinkable, but she was afraid she had already done so and would really leave him in pain when she started avoiding him. What else could she do? She couldn’t have a relationship with him, so that meant she’d have to cut off all contact, as much as she could anyway. It was better to do it now, before he loved her, or before she loved him. Mina tried to ignore the voice in the back of her mind insisting it was already far too late to prevent that.

  *****

  Shane had been right. She was sick. By that evening, Mina was trembling and flushed, overheated but chilled. Janie tucked her into bed with a motherly kiss to the forehead, and she slipped into sleep. At some point, she woke screaming and thrashing. Nightmares of Shane hurting Coop while she stood by laughing haunted her, making it difficult to wake fully. The form over her was a shadowed blur, and she screamed, trying to push him away.

  “Hold her down,” said a disembodied voice. “She’s delirious. I have to get this down her to break her fever. It’s too high to be beneficial at this point.”

  Hands held onto her arms, and she continued screaming and struggling until someone shoved a spoon into her mouth. She wanted to spit it out, but a soft hand closed her mouth before she could. The bitter, earthy taste clung to her tongue, making her gag, though the substance went down.

  Mina was aware of struggling for a bit longer, until exhaustion took over, and she slumped passively to the bed. As she started to slip away into unconsciousness, she recognized Lia as one of her tormenters. “Betrayer,” she whispered and surrendered to sleep.

  *****

  At breakfast the next morning, Shane listened carefully for news of Mina as her mother and sisters discussed her illness. His heart lightened a bit when Emme said, “Her fever has dropped some, and she’s not so delirious now. She’ll come out of it in a day or two, I think.”

  “Goodie,” said Lia with a note of sourness.

  Janie frowned. “What is going on between you and your sister, Lia? I haven’t seen you two exchange a kind word in weeks.”

  Lia shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s just been super-bitch since the rape.”

  Shane gritted his teeth, biting back the urge to defend her. It was getting harder and harder to pretend there was nothing between them. He knew they would have to admit to the relationship publicly soon and deal with any objections to the age difference. It was especially important to him to have her family at least know, and hopefully accept, they were together before she got pregnant. He didn’t want to embarrass her or have them feel like they were forced to acknowledge their bond because of a baby.

/>   “Can you blame her? She’s been through hell,” said Emme. “Can you imagine being at someone’s mercy like that?” She shivered. “I think she’s having PTSD episodes.”

  That caught his attention, and a tendril of guilt uncurled in his stomach. Had he really been that rough with her? Examining the first time he’d taken her, he squirmed with the realization that he had hurt her badly. He’d let his anger at Lia influence him, and then when she’d tried to stab him…well, that had almost unhinged him.

  “What makes you think that?” asked Kelly.

  “She’s jumpy and nervous. Have you noticed she hardly eats? A few weeks ago, she was in my room, and she just sort of disconnected.” Emme sighed. “I don’t know how else to describe it. She kind of collapsed to the floor and rocked herself. When I called her name, she didn’t answer for the longest time.”

  “She was just ignoring you,” dismissed Lia.

  Emme scowled. “No, it was like she couldn’t hear me. She was there one minute and gone the next. It scared me.”

  “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Shane squeezed his hands into fists as he asked the question, summoning all eyes to him. He was uncomfortably aware of the assessing look in Lia’s, and the puzzled one Coop wore. “I mean, we could have watched out for her. What if she had an episode with one of us?”

  Emme shrugged. “I’m sorry, Shane, but it was family business.” She reached over to pat Coop’s hand. “I told Coop, of course, since he’s her usual partner.”

  He wouldn’t be surprised to find he’d dug his fingernails into his palms so deeply that he was bleeding. To be dismissed as not her family, and then to know Coop had been informed, pissed him off to the point where he wanted to punch something. Still, he managed to sound pleasant when he said, “I see. Well, perhaps we should reconsider what is family business, since we’re all living so closely together.”

  Winn nodded. “He makes a fair point, Emme. If someone is ill or otherwise…indisposed…it’s good for all of us to know. That way, we have several pairs of eyes on her. Or anyone,” he hastily amended.

  Emme nodded, though she didn’t look directly at Shane. “Well, everyone knows now.” She stretched, groaning. “That seat beside Mina’s bed sucks.”

  “It sure does. I’m not looking forward to my shift,” said Kelly.

  “I’ll sit with her for a while,” said Shane in what he hoped was a casual tone. “It’ll be a nice change from milking the goats.”

  “Really? Thanks.” Kelly bounded from her seat. “I’m going with Coop then. He’s planning to hunt this morning.”

  “Maybe we’ll find some turkeys before Thanksgiving, since we still have a couple of weeks,” said Coop with a small smile.

  He didn’t seem to mind Kelly inviting herself, but it was obvious he wasn’t excited either. Now, if Mina had been the one going along… “You should be careful out there, Coop. You never know what could happen.” As much as he hated to consider it, he was starting to think he’d have to deal with Coop, especially since her family seemed to think he had a more prominent role in her life than he did.

  Shane deserved the recognition of being her partner, not Coop. The other man had never kissed or caressed her and had never spent the whole night searching for all the places that made Mina moan and whimper with need. He had no claim to Shane’s woman. Maybe it was time to make that clear. If that failed, he might have to take steps.

  Chapter Seven

  Shane’s words proved to be prophetic, though he had nothing to do with what happened to Coop and Kelly. They came back near sunset, both worse for wear. Kelly was leaning heavily on him, her ankle a raw mess. “Help,” called Coop. As Shane came running, he nodded to Kelly. “Can you carry her? I would, but my ribs are bruised or broken.”

  Shane scooped her up, heading straight to the house. Coop watched her sisters and mother converge around her, much like they had the morning he’d carried Mina in from the coop after her attack. He hobbled in more slowly, grateful when Hector and Owen came up to him to take his arms on their shoulders and offer support. He sat heavily at the table, waiting for Doc Emme’s attentions.

  “What happened?” asked Winn as Shane reentered the room, probably having carried Kelly up to her bedroom.

  “We ran into a nasty group of people.” Coop groaned with agony as he unzipped his sheepskin flannel shirt and tried to take it off. Chelle’s help proved invaluable. “They invited Kelly to join them and didn’t like her refusal. They were determined to take her, and I couldn’t let that happen.”

  “How many?” asked Shane.

  “Seven. Four men and three women, though I don’t think the women were there voluntarily.”

  Winn’s hand clapped onto his shoulder, but carefully. “You fought off four men to save my daughter?”

  He shook his head. “Actually, just three. Kelly was doing a good job kicking the ass of the last one until he got a rope around her ankle and tried to drag her away. She still managed to stab him through the thigh at the femoral artery. He probably bled to death,” said Coop with a note of pride before looking at Dana. “Your defense lessons are paying off.”

  “Defense lessons?” asked Shane, sounding puzzled.

  Dana’s redheaded complexion glowed pink at the praise. “I’ve just been showing the ladies some things.”

  “The ladies? The Marsden ladies?” At Dana’s nod, Shane nodded too. “Good idea.” Then he turned to Coop. “Do you think we could catch up with them?”

  Coop shrugged. “Probably. Kelly and I were moving kind of slowly back to the farm though, and I don’t know how many are actually in their group. Honestly, I hated coming right back here, in case they followed, but didn’t have many alternatives with her bleeding.”

  “Hector, Dana, we’re doubling up security tonight.” Shane spoke with the familiarity of their leader, though he didn’t officially wear the mantle anymore. “For the next few days as well. That small group might have been just a scouting party, or maybe one sent out to scavenge women.”

  Chelle shuddered. “What kind of world are we living in these days, Shane, where a man can just take any woman he wants without repercussions?”

  Shane’s expression tightened. “They won’t take anyone here.”

  Coop agreed with his former commanding officer. He knew he’d die to keep the family and his friends safe. Especially Mina. After that sweet kiss they’d shared in the kitchen, he was impatient to see her again. As soon as she was up and moving around, he planned to seek her out and let her know he wanted so much more than that, if and whenever she was ready. From the way she’d run away, he knew the kiss had frightened her, and he planned to make sure she didn’t feel pressured.

  *****

  Mina spent four days in bed, recovering from the bacteria or virus that had felled her. “Four must be my lucky number,” she joked with Emme, as her sister looked her over. “That’s how long I was trapped in bed…last time.”

  “But you didn’t have Kelly to motivate you to get moving last time,” said Emme with a small chuckle. Their sister had spent the past three days complaining about being confined to bed, complaining about the pain, complaining about how slowly people came to her…well, just complaining loudly about everything. With her room next door, it hadn’t been a restful experience when Mina returned to full consciousness about forty hours after she’d initially gotten delirious.

  “That’s true. I might have spent another day or two lying around, but I feel the need to escape. Some peace and quiet would be nice.” Though she had appreciated the break from Shane. To her knowledge, he hadn’t been in her room at all, other than a few hours while she was unconscious. She shuddered to think what he might have done to her insensate body, but had chosen not to dwell on the possibilities. Since he fancied himself her partner, maybe he’d just been tender and considerate. Maybe.

  “Has anyone been around the farm since Kelly and Coop ran into that group?”

  Emme shook her head. “No, but we’ve
been diligent. Shane has doubled the number of people on watch, and everyone is pairing up now, male or female, when going somewhere outside the perimeter of the fence.”

  “Did you do guard duty?”

  Emme nodded, giving her a saucy smile. “It wasn’t too bad. I was with that sexy Owen.”

  Mina clicked her tongue. “The same one Kelly has called dibs upon?” They giggled together, like a couple of teenagers—Mina technically qualified, though she had grown up immeasurably in the past fifteen months. “Does he seem to feel the same about Kelly?”

  Emme shrugged. “Who knows? He didn’t say much.”

  “When you look that good, I guess you can be silent.” They laughed again as Kelly called out for someone to bring her water. For some reason, that made the sisters laugh harder, and Mina felt amazingly good.

  *****

  That feeling faded somewhat when she deliberately avoided having Coop take her to check on the chickens. He’d started in her direction, but she’d deliberately turned from him and approached Hector instead. He’d agreed without any problem, but she found herself on-edge with him. He seemed like a good man, but she was leery of anyone she didn’t really know after Shane. How she longed for the days when she could trust easily, back when it was safe to do so.

  Hector just stood in the doorway, clearly having no clue about chickens, so it took longer than usual. She missed having Coop’s companionship, and she hated Shane with a renewed surge of emotion. He’d left her with no choice but to reject Coop, even as a friend, and she resented it. Her strategy of complying with whatever he wanted in order to survive was getting old and hard to cling to, since she’d already had to accept so many horrible things because of Shane.

  When they finished, he returned to his duties, and she went to the stable with Chelle to check on Lady. She had missed the foaling, but she admired the new little colt. He already walked confidently at only a couple of days old, and his spindly legs supported him beautifully.